This is his corner...

Before I met my husband, James, I fell in love with this bloke who I thought could possibly be who I have been searching for. He was funny and clever and he wasn't embarrassed to say what he feels. I love people who could just be who they really are around me. We had an absolute meeting of minds, and it was powerful. But as every heart goes through at least once in a lifetime, mine got broken and it wasn't clear what or who caused it. A big part of me knows that it was indeed I who broke my own heart. I have a tendency to read words wrong, or interpret them the way they were not intended to mean. Sometimes I would understand words as how I feel, and I usually decide on how I feel, regardless of explanations. When I feel too intense about something, I am not a reliable person to judge a certain emotion. I used to pull away from positive feelings toward me as well, somehow I always manage to set an invisible line as to how far you could get to me. And with men, that line sets the limit as to how much you are allowed to love me. It wasn't good, I admit. It didn't do me well at all. But it was how I shielded myself from falling apart like the others who have fallen in love. James had successfully crossed that line with much effort, and for that I love him more.
But this is Gareth's corner. I owe him a lot of nice poems, and a lot of laughter as well.

08-12-06
by Me -.-

i know what i am about to do is wrong
but where do i go from here?
i've been staring at this road since you left me
and the tears haven't dried since then
my vision is still blurry
my eyes still sore
my heart is still empty
from everything i tried to ignore
it's hard to imagine life without you
mornings without the dream
days of not looking forward to something
that someday you will come and complete me
and piece together my heart
it's not broken but it feels like it
everytime i wake up and realise we are apart
i need to tell you a lot of things
but like this road, it leads nowhere
i'd rather turn back and not know
than walk on and find out I lost the dream
i waited for you for so long
dreamt of it a million times and more
in my heart i know you are the one i should be with
but i know that in yours, i will never be the one you need.


Found a poem I wrote ages ago. Posting it here anyways, One thing I love about WOW, it takes my mind of the real world, otherwise I would've gone mad long time ago.

19.03.2006

by Vei



How do you get over something so complicated?

You lose yourself in the mere thought of it

All my life, I never felt so obligated

Until the day I realised my life didn't make sense without you in it.



How do you solve something that is not a problem?

But a bitter truth that cannot be changed

It haunts me all the time and it won't go away

I can't fight it because I no longer have the strength to find my way.



How do I get over someone who had been a star?

Shining down upon me when I was low to the ground

He had been a dream but sadly, it all ended

And along with it, a genuine smile that has forever faded.


I truly miss you and I realise it more each day

I regret the day I traded you for another, I curse that day

You asked for forgiveness but I didn't listen to a word you said

I didn't know it was the last time I'll ever be happy, how life make us pay.

17-12-06
09:39AM

I know I've been weak to your charm
And I believed everything you said so easily
I never questioned how you felt about me
It was a mistake I seem to repeat so fondly

But nothing stays the way they are
Love needs to be nourished for it to grow
It wasn't really cos you lived far
But because you only wanted me in times of your sorrow

It will never be a question of how I felt
You know damn well I loved you more than you gave me a chance to show
I kept a special place in my heart waiting for you to fill it
But the waiting stops here, and I can no longer keep this

Maybe it was the right love at the wrong time
Who knows what it could really be
I can't keep guessing how you feel
Until you know what you want, we will never know the deal.

I have been stupid and blind for so long
I hope you enjoyed the show, cos now I know where I belong
This girl has realised her real worth
It's sad that you didn't, cos I would have loved you all my life,
I would have given you things you never had, or ever will
But the game stops here, finally
Look elsewhere cos your fallback girl is no longer gonna be me.



18.12.06
6:12AM

Everytime I take a step forward, you take two steps back
This scares me but I don't let you see
I don't have much courage in me when it comes to you
Because I've never been in love as much before I met you.
And I can say, there is nothing I wouldn't do to be with you
But when I try to get closer, you pull so quickly back
So I'm not that strong, you knew this from the start
It's not an excuse but it's hard to say when we are apart
I have tried many times to dismiss the love I feel inside
But I fail each time, cos I end up wishing you were by my side.
Somewhere in my heart, I know we will make it
"When" is the question I wish I knew the answer to
All I know is that I should be with you
And I feel that somewhere in your heart, you need me too.
I don't tell you these things that I feel
You probably will laugh at it and say, "it's surreal"
But in case I never get to tell you what's inside my heart
Just know that I have loved you right from the very start.


18.12.06
9:35AM

I can't believe I just told you how I really feel
Damn it feels good to let it all out
It's been too long to keep them buried inside me
And if I never get the chance to see you, I will be happy
To know that you know what is inside my heart
That I have never stopped loving you even when we fell apart
And the times you were away I have missed you everyday
Now that you're back in my life, there is so much to say
When I think about you, I wonder if you are happy
Then I smile to the thought that sometimes you wish you were with me
I long to be in your arms and be able to talk with no words
To be close to you is enough, I'd be happy
Not one day passed when I didn't think of you
Somehow I knew I will always be in love with you
I don't know what it was that you did and didn't do
But I have always cared and wished your love was true.
And I will keep wishing until that moment comes
I know you are worth every single minute
And if you decide you no longer feel for me
I still won't regret loving the person you are entirely.