Thank you for the memories I will never forget you All the fun, laughter and all the times we disagreed I swear there is no one like you. I will treasure every second you spent with me And the rest I will keep a mystery The way you taught me to keep dreaming freely And the way you whispered that it’s OK to be me. You brought smile to my face everyday you were around you made sure I always stood on solid ground And I know as strange as this may sound But You were my rock, so strong and profound. Now the time has come to say goodbye But I will remember you every time I look up to the sky For you’re truly something that’s hard to come by And I will always be thankful for your love And I will never forget that you’re the reason I am soaring high. - by Vei 11:51PM 31.12.09
You’re the song I listen to over and over again But I don’t seem to get tired of it Every time it comes on I’d try to sing along and then I’d just melt and the words escape me. I listen to the same melody again and again I should really know the words by now When every time I hear them I break down in a puddle of acid rain.
Your voice chills me in a way I can’t explain But it’s all I ever want to hear So I can’t really complain. Your love is suffocating even when you’re not near But you’re the blood that feeds my veins So I can’t really complain.
I hear the song and on it plays in my head Even when I’m asleep I dream of it And I wake up wishing you were laying next to me Here on your side of the bed. You’re like a song that’s always playing A broken record over and over again But I can never memorise the words Coz every time you come on you take me with you And everything around us fade You make me forget all the times you played me And fooled me into believing you would stay You’re the song I wish to sing along to Somehow someday And I dream of the day I could tell you That you are the song that kept me together Every time my heart needed an escape. - Vei 11:26PM 31.12.09
This year I registered to be an organ donor to make sure my end will be someone else's new beginning =>
I have 11 hours left to 2009 and I am sat here alone listening to Owl City's Vanilla Twilight. I first heard the song on Magic Radio via streaming radio portal. I find that even though I can't relate to the song it calms me and takes me to a world I have been to before and never want to be again. It's hard for me to write poems lately because I feel too content to write anything. It's just me - I find it easier for words to flow when I am in a dark place or at a crossroads. But 2009 has been a really wonderful year for me so I have not written much at all.
The year didn't start off as well but gradually the road lead to a brighter place and it all started in April when James and I decided we are ready to move to our own place. As much as I love their family home I was itching to become a wife to James and I suppose I wanted a place I can call my own. A place people would recognise is mine and of course there is that very precious thing called privacy. In June we moved to a lovely flat which is a brisk 2 minute walk to the town centre. We've had a lovely summer and I enjoyed family BBQs in the garden!
Every uncle and auntie James has did help us a lot - from moving our stuff into the flat to sending us cheques and gift vouchers to help us buy some house stuff - most of these were from James's family: (this photo was taken on the day that we moved.)
A NEW HOME
1. Security coded entrance to our flat building 2. car park [ours is sometimes used by my in-laws when they are out in the town] 3. our bedroom 4. living area 5. study area {haven't decided on the bookshelves} 6. bathroom 7. kitchen 8. bedroom windowsill9. lounge 10. our street
Since moving to our flat me and Maddie got a lot closer. She takes me to a lot of places with her and even just for a short ride to somewhere. We went on a number of shopping trips to Meadowhall and I am very pleased with how our relationship has bloomed into a really warm one. She, Chris and Liz have really accepted me into the family this year and even though we got off a shaky start the important thing is how we are now and carry it on into the future. Needless to say, James is absolutely pleased about this as well.
Autumn brought a lovely spell of weather with it too and compared to last year it's been absolutely brilliant.
In SEPTEMBER I finally said goodbye to WOW [World of Warcraft] after four odd years of playing it with such passion. I don't regret it - it was a very enjoyable game and I met a lot of nice people through it who I now keep in touch with through Facebook. This was the last achievement I bothered to do in WOW before I bid it farewell - for now anyway. I just might check the expansion out when it gets released roughly around the third quarter of 2010.
OCTOBER
The highlight of my year is probably when James and I went on a 3 day-holiday in London. It's our first one here in the UK and it was absolutely fantastic! London is such a beautiful city and I would definitely have to go back.
NOVEMBER
on the 11th of the 11th, I had my first driving lesson. This is another highlight of the year - close contender to London. I have to say I never expected I'd enjoy driving as much as I did and still do. It is so liberating! I never realised how much goes into driving but maybe that is because I am practising on a manual car as oppose to automatic which is what my brother used to learn to drive whilst working in Michigan. It could be quite scary sometimes especially on the roundabouts but I have learned to take in what my driving instructor keeps telling me - the phantom car is not going to abruptly shoot off in front of me. Keith said driving is like a metaphor of life and I agree. He also told me to learn to focus on what is in front of me and not what I imagine things could be. I know how to drive now, I just need to learn the Highway Code and practice on the theory and test and hazard peception tests that Keith has provided me with and also get anti-glare specs. Actually I think I may need to have another eye test as I struggled to see very well when driving today. I shall consider getting contact lenses if they are reasonably priced so I can wear sunglasses whilst driving as the winter sun is really annoying. Hopefully 2010 will bring me a full driving licence!
As I have said on my previous blog entry I made a FB account two years ago but didn't like it so I stuck to myspace and when that gotten full of people in my friends list who I have no clue as to who they are, I deleted that account and gave FB another shot. In November I found a lof of my elementary and high school classmates, school mates and teachers and it was quite nice to see how they are doing. I almost forgot how good my Primary school was. Seeing my school and classmates reminded me that it was a really decent private school and probably the best one my mum could find back then. She really tried to give me the best she could and I owe her loads.
DECEMBER
This month I spent a lot of time with Maddie because she gets quite down in the winter so I wanted to make sure she knew I am here if she needed company. I called round their house to put their Christmas tree up. She could have done that herself but I knew she just wanted a bit of company and it really is the least I could do for her. We spent Christmas together - Liz, me and James and mum and dad. Then we went for a family walk on the 27th, had a really nice meal afterwards and in the evening they treat us to a Pantomime which I aboslutely loved! Here are some photos!
So.... it's been ages since I last wrote anything on here. I have to admit I was pretty entertained and occupied with some FB apps! I've had a Face Book account made two years ago but I had to deactivate it because I didn't like its privacy settings but now that they've made quite a number of changes to it making it a bit safer to some extent I gave it another go. The main reason I started a FB account again is to keep in touch with some WoW [world of warcraft] friends because I didn't want to lose contact with them just because I've quit the game. Ah yes I have indeed! After four and a bit years of playing it with such passion I have decided it's time to retire the leggy Foxychick. I have nothing else to prove in Azeroth and Blizzard has stripped the game of challenges that made me love the game to begin with, and recently they stripped it off of the brilliant lore behind each and every one of the characters that I thought, "there is nothing left for me here in Azeroth". So I turned my back on WoW but not on the friends that I made along the way. I have been an absolute rubbish at keeping in touch with friends and those who have tried to reconnect with me I successfully ignored, but not purposely. "Mamaya" is my most hated word now. It doesn't really translate to 'later' because later could mean tomorrow or next year, at a more convenient time where as "mamaya" leans more toward the immediate future, so it's more like 'in a bit'. I remember telling James what 'mamaya' means and when I asked him about getting a dog, he said to me: "Of course we'll get one, I'd love a dog as well. Mamaya, all right?". Yeah I wish! So anyway, I had that attitude for too long when it comes to answering emails and such. I just say I'll do it mamaya. And mamaya never comes. The new FB is better and I quite like the changes they made to it. I encouraged my mum and brother to get on it and add me so we can all keep in touch even when I can't be bothered writing emails. And now it's all brill! I even get to play some of the FB games with my brother since he has also quit WOW. What can I say? I am that ace that when I quit, James and Vij followed my lead haha. Well James have always just enjoyed playing it with me and the same is true for me. I got him in a hardcore 25HC raiding guild and he cleared all the bosses and got fed up. So now when he is not doing some D.I.Y.s in the flat, he plays Dragon Age Origins. He likes playing it as the challenge of the game is so refreshing after playing WOW this past year. I think my brother thought we abandoned him and his guild but the truth is I just got sick of the game and the idiots that I don't have to put up with. I don't put up with real life idiots so the same rule applies for any game.
Anyhow, the good news of the day is:
I got a new laptop! In the end, performance won over cosmetics. I'm very pleased about it =>
I have scones and herb and parmesan cheese bread to bake for the Bonfire at Uncle Richard's tonight and I am running out of time so I am going to fill this in later.
God put me through a little adventure yesterday since He reckoned I wasn't going to do it myself! xXx
It’s true. I have just turned 25 17 days ago. I have to admit, there are days when I feel older than I am - I partly blame my husband for being three years younger than myself :-).
But I realised that what I feel hugely depends on my mood and how the day has affected me. When I think about the blessings I have received and continue to receive, I feel happy and I feel like the 11 year old girl who finally learned to ride her mate’s brother’s bike. Yeah those were the days I felt utterly satisfied. It had cost my mate’s bike to be completely scratched on one side as I leaned it on the wall to help balance myself, but I have accomplished something I ever so wanted on my own. And that is how I want to feel for the rest of my life - or for most of it anyway. I don’t want a perfect life. I want my family to be needed and appreciated by me - and if it is to cost me some tears then so be it. We all need to be needed. And if people were allowed to live perfect lives, then we won’t realise our importance to each other.
There will be days when we will feel ten years older but our family and loved ones will be there to lift us right off the ground and make us feel that the years we lived were not all that bad.
22.10 |EDIT: I just got a greeting card from my brother - James pulled it out of the mailbox 5 minutes go. I couldn't believe my eyes looking at it, he never sent me one before! Awwww :) wish I could have included it on my Vblog but oh wellZ ^_^ <3>
This is me doing a video blog at 9PM. This is a spur of the moment thing if I were being honest because I was too lazy to type a regular text blog entry. But since I didn't post anything here on my birthday, you get a double whammy!
The first bit of this video was cut where I said "I used to ask my mum what she wants for her birthday and she'd tell me she's too old for birthdays. I didn't really understand what she meant then but now I do -- "
I have always admired Big Ben when I watch BBC News 8,000 odd miles away from where it stands. I always wished in passing that one day I'll get to see 'Ben' [as I fondly call it] and admire it from up close but I never really thought I would be able to. I am not one who appreciates architecture really, but London is just sensational in every aspect. A big busy city that seems to be alive 24/7 - where every one is well dressed and always on-the-go. Seriously, I could people-watch there every day. I don't have the words to describe my short London holiday but it was truly amazing. But it's good to be back in Chesterfield - it's not busy and people are not always on-the-go. People are not in suits over here but they wear friendly faces. And most of all - the air is a lot fresher out here. London is a stunning place to holiday in, but I wouldn't really choose to live there. It's strange because I should have felt more at home there - every one seems to be foreign and it's actually a novelty to hear a British accent whilst trekking around Central London! I think half of the people we saw were Asians lol London = good holiday city. Chesterfield = good home to raise a family.
I still can't believe I got to see London before I even turned 25! It's absolutely surreal - a small town girl from eight thousand miles away in a big busy City of London... I am so blessed.
Yesterday I received my first 25th birthday card in the post. I thought it was from the Filipino Association here in Chesterfield but it was quite a pleasant surprise to find out that it was from someone else. It's from James' Aunti Linda and Uncle Michael who lives all the way in Bristol and whom I have never met yet. Linda is the only one I have yet to meet amongst Maddie's siblings. Little surprises like this one really warms my heart. It has a picture of the Tower Bridge of London too - which I can't wait to take my own pictures of!
I wonder how many girls there are on the FHM UK webby... In 16 hours my online rating is now #40, so I figured there are probably 40 girls LOL I got bored to my skull yesterday so I signed up for FHM. Four years ago, my photo was published in FHM Philippines, it was only a small picture but the fact that it got noticed is quite flattering ;-) Perhaps in another lifetime I would be a lingerie model, or a sex columnist, haha that should be interesting. But let me tend to this life first and I will bother about the next life afterward ^_^
07 October 2009
This is the reason why you should never put (eye) make up on without moisturiser and foundation/loose powder on! (it was 9Am and I felt like trying my new quad Maybelline eye shadow I got from Boots yesterday and needless to say, my face was too au naturel LOL. I should have another go when my canvas is actually ready for it :-)
I was supposed to write the second part of my latest blog entry (prior to this of course) yesterday but my day turned out amazingly wonderful and busy!
It was James' day off so we were able to go on a day out in town. First we checked out the newly opened H&M store and we actually purchased a shirt for James! No, that's not a typo. We really did buy a piece of clothing that wasn't for me - for once! Well, the smallest size they had in the store was size 6 and I really must get something from there, it would have to pluck it from the children's department. The clothes for 13 year old's are just the right size for me. In fact I told James that one of these days I am going to try on something from the Children's range.
Two days ago I got the jacket I ordered from ASOS.com which fit me perfectly. It was off their Petite range in UK size 4 which is the equivalent of US size 0. I mean, is zero even a valid size?? To be honest I am really not skinny, I have seen many ladies here who are a lot skinnier than I am. It's just the petite Asian frame I have which seems to be too big for any high street clothes. Yesterday I was very disappointed to find out that I don't fit in a skinny jeans from River Island. I really loved the embellishments and detail on the front and back of it. Sadly, the smallest size they had it in was 6 and it was literally falling off me with every movement I make. I have never bought a pair of jeans here in the UK but I will make sure that when I do I won't bother if they haven't got it in size 4 - unless of course I gain weight then perhaps I could actually buy stuff off the shops here and not have to rely on ASOS and Miss Selfridge and some Topshop (rip off!). Perhaps I should go and check ASDA out as I read that they do some petite clothing in size 4.
Another highlight of my day yesterday was having my hair cut and styled! It's long overdue to be honest. I had three and a half foot of hair I carry around on the top of my head which strangles me in my sleep at night and which I sit on pulling my scalp well hard in the process. I didn't realise how heavy that amount of hair could be until I chopped a foot of it. My head felt a lot lighter and I can sit down without worrying about pulling my hair. An hour and a half sat on the salon chair at Toni & Guy's it was finally over - the day that I was anxious about for a long time. James and I then went to have my passport and licence photos and then had a nice stroll to Dunelm Mill to see what we could spend the voucher that Richard and Wendy gave us for a pressy when we moved into our new flat. It's been under a fridge magnet for four months and we finally spent it yesterday on:
bath towels
matching pedestal and bath mat
black out curtain liner
small bin for the bedroom
and probably go back for bed sheets as we still have £20 left on the voucher! Or maybe a cake stand, pipping bag, cookie cutter... the list goes on! There are some really ace stuff in their kitchen section.
I LOVED the weather yesterday, it was the perfect temperature! Until we came out of Dunelm Mill... It absolutely chucked it down on us! Good thing about having long and thick hair is that unlike James who got soaked the second the rain fell, I actually didn't feel wet until we were almost home. I will remember to wear water proof mascara next time just in case I get soaked haha!! On a bad day I would have gone bonkers that my hair got ruined after it got styled to the tee, but yesterday was absolutely perfect. It was like déjà vu for us really. We had the same situation in Baguio when we went to the market and it rained cats and dogs out of nowhere and neither of us ever carry a brolly with us. We both hate carrying an umbrella, it's silly yes but we'd rather get wet than have the bother of a brolly. Of course on a really cold day, I have learned to take one with me because getting wet on a 5 degree C - weather is not very nice.
To top it all off, the pork roast I marinated overnight turned out absolutely lovely. I suck at making gravy but last night I made a red wine gravy and James loved it. He normally just have ketchup because I am notorious for making lumpy gravy - so much so that I have stopped trying, until last night. The roast vegetables that I served with it also came out perfect, I have overdone my veg in the past before :p
So yes, I had a brilliant Tuesday - too ace to write a sad piece on lies and pretentious friendships.
I have to admit - I find her entertaining in a peculiar sort of way.
Sometimes I think time do change people quite a lot. But then I realised some people probably take their time to admit to themselves who they really are, and they then choose the people they would like to share their real selves with. AND if you don’t happen to be in that selection you get to see what they really wanted to be. This is probably why people loves the internet and social networking so much. They don’t use it to keep in touch with their friends really, but in a profile page they get to be what they want people to think they are. This is OK as long as it doesn’t harm of hurt people. When I was 14 years old I got hooked on chatting. I discovered the magic of the internet - I was absolutely gobsmacked to say the least. Why not? I was talking to people from different parts of the world! Later I will discover that there are a lot of perverts lurking behind sweet screen names and phoney profiles just waiting for a vulnerable prey to take the bait. The benefit of this discovery is that I knew at a young age which men to take seriously and I can count them on the fingers of one hand. I have not been all the truthful myself, oh no. In fact my first (non-junk) email account has the number “17” after my name which supposedly there to represent my age. But that was about it. I lied about my age until I was finally 18. Phew! But I never lied about my hobbies, interests and the things that amused and amazed me. I never lied about the things that made me laugh or made me angry. Nor the things that annoyed me and why they did so much. I see no point in talking to someone if you can’t be yourself. I really LOVE people who can hold a good conversation because I just LOVE good conversations. I like learning about other people and sharing my opinions on matters that I am passionate about. This is probably the reason why I got so fond of chatting on AIM when I was younger. I especially loved it before I had a photograph scanned and posted on my profile. Because up until that point, people and I were just talking - about cultures, political views, animals’ amazing instinct and pretty much anything under the sun. Somehow looks didn’t matter at all.
I forgotten about the virtual world when I started working. On a jeepney home after a long day at work in Picture City Digital the guy sat next to me called “Miss… excuse me, miss”. There were about 8 other people in the jeep so I felt pretty safe, not to mention the fact that my workmate Rowel, volunteered to take me home that evening so I smiled at him and found out he looked pretty harmless. Then he said, “do you mind if I touch your hair?”. I said sure after scanning his hands with my eyes and making sure he had no pair of scissors hidden in the palm of his hands or something. He then asked me if I’d be interested to do some hair modelling for David’s Salon. I may be gullible but I’m not stupid so I just shrugged it off thinking he is taking the piss. I guess he read my mind so he hand me a business card and asked me for a mobile number, I said I didn’t have one even though I did. He was persistent and asked me where he could contact me so I told him he could come see me in the mall where I worked. The next afternoon there he was! And to make the long story short, I said yes to his offer. At one of the events, I met Kaye for the first time. My first impression of her is vague but I remember her being nice and funny. That was when our friendship began.
My heart really went out for her when I found out she was working a 13 hour job for P80 (£1{the minimum wage then was 300 pesos}) at a VCD rental and lived in box of a room of a nearby boarding house. She isn’t from Angeles City that is why she is renting a room in a boarding house as her province is several hours away. We kept in touch and actually went out dancing many times and bonded quite well. When I got a better job in a hotel and found out they were looking for more staff I asked Kaye if she would like to work there as a DJ in the karaoke lounge of the hotel she was hesitant. I made her a CV and tweaked the job experience bit. I was so psyched when she got the job and I made sure I taught her how to work the DJ equipment in the booth (they were pretty basic, my brother worked as a DJ in a record bar) before our boss catch on. Thankfully he didn’t and working there has been one of the best times of my life working with 4 of my best friends in the world (Kaye, Karen and my childhood bezzy, Sarah).
But nothing lasts forever as we all know. Eventually we moved on with time, after the hotel shut down the Karaoke Lounge, Kaye decided to take the offer to work in the girly bar wing of the hotel, Karen and Sarah didn’t - Karen had a baby soon after and Sarah worked as an office administrator in another hotel, and so did I. That’s when we lost touch except Sarah and I. Three years later we had a bit of a reunion. And you’d think we would be a bit wiser. Well, we weren’t.
I logged on WOW today to check how my brother's guild is holding up. I don't want him to go back in WOW and find out his guild has disbanded. So after a chat with some people about the guild I thought I'd do VoA25. I like doing it cos it doesn't take long. But I feel guilty for rolling for an item that I probably will never use. A roll of 100 lead to this conversation:
It's not the first time that people remember me from somewhere, even players who have migrated to other realm, or who still are in my old realm. It really puts a smile to my face when people remember me and not for anything bad or nasty. I probably wasn't as frank and tactless as I thought I was!
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