Sometimes God decides for us

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I have scones and herb and parmesan cheese bread to bake for the Bonfire at Uncle Richard's tonight and I am running out of time so I am going to fill this in later.

God put me through a little adventure yesterday since He reckoned I wasn't going to do it myself!
xXx

Age is a state of mind.

It’s true. I have just turned 25 17 days ago. I have to admit, there are days when I feel older than I am - I partly blame my husband for being three years younger than myself :-).

But I realised that what I feel hugely depends on my mood and how the day has affected me. When I think about the blessings I have received and continue to receive, I feel happy and I feel like the 11 year old girl who finally learned to ride her mate’s brother’s bike. Yeah those were the days I felt utterly satisfied. It had cost my mate’s bike to be completely scratched on one side as I leaned it on the wall to help balance myself, but I have accomplished something I ever so wanted on my own. And that is how I want to feel for the rest of my life - or for most of it anyway. I don’t want a perfect life. I want my family to be needed and appreciated by me - and if it is to cost me some tears then so be it. We all need to be needed. And if people were allowed to live perfect lives, then we won’t realise our importance to each other.

There will be days when we will feel ten years older but our family and loved ones will be there to lift us right off the ground and make us feel that the years we lived were not all that bad.

<3

Foxy xXx

VBLOG: Birthday Wishes

22.10 |EDIT: I just got a greeting card from my brother - James pulled it out of the mailbox 5 minutes go. I couldn't believe my eyes looking at it, he never sent me one before! Awwww :) wish I could have included it on my Vblog but oh wellZ ^_^ <3>

This is me doing a video blog at 9PM. This is a spur of the moment thing if I were being honest because I was too lazy to type a regular text blog entry. But since I didn't post anything here on my birthday, you get a double whammy!



The first bit of this video was cut where I said "I used to ask my mum what she wants for her birthday and she'd tell me she's too old for birthdays. I didn't really understand what she meant then but now I do -- "

Lovers in London

I have always admired Big Ben when I watch BBC News 8,000 odd miles away from where it stands. I always wished in passing that one day I'll get to see 'Ben' [as I fondly call it] and admire it from up close but I never really thought I would be able to. I am not one who appreciates architecture really, but London is just sensational in every aspect. A big busy city that seems to be alive 24/7 - where every one is well dressed and always on-the-go. Seriously, I could people-watch there every day. I don't have the words to describe my short London holiday but it was truly amazing. But it's good to be back in Chesterfield - it's not busy and people are not always on-the-go. People are not in suits over here but they wear friendly faces. And most of all - the air is a lot fresher out here. London is a stunning place to holiday in, but I wouldn't really choose to live there. It's strange because I should have felt more at home there - every one seems to be foreign and it's actually a novelty to hear a British accent whilst trekking around Central London! I think half of the people we saw were Asians lol
London = good holiday city.
Chesterfield = good home to raise a family.

I still can't believe I got to see London before I even turned 25! It's absolutely surreal - a small town girl from eight thousand miles away in a big busy City of London... I am so blessed.





CLICK TO VIEW INDIVIDUAL HD PIX

London

Yesterday I received my first 25th birthday card in the post. I thought it was from the Filipino Association here in Chesterfield but it was quite a pleasant surprise to find out that it was from someone else. It's from James' Aunti Linda and Uncle Michael who lives all the way in Bristol and whom I have never met yet. Linda is the only one I have yet to meet amongst Maddie's siblings. Little surprises like this one really warms my heart. It has a picture of the Tower Bridge of London too - which I can't wait to take my own pictures of!

Just a wee thought...

I wonder how many girls there are on the FHM UK webby... In 16 hours my online rating is now #40, so I figured there are probably 40 girls LOL
I got bored to my skull yesterday so I signed up for FHM. Four years ago, my photo was published in FHM Philippines, it was only a small picture but the fact that it got noticed is quite flattering ;-)
Perhaps in another lifetime I would be a lingerie model, or a sex columnist, haha that should be interesting. But let me tend to this life first and I will bother about the next life afterward ^_^

This is the reason why you should never put (eye) make up on without moisturiser and foundation/loose powder on!
(it was 9Am and I felt like trying my new quad Maybelline eye shadow I got from Boots yesterday and needless to say, my face was too au naturel LOL. I should have another go when my canvas is actually ready for it :-)

Topnotch Tuesday

I was supposed to write the second part of my latest blog entry (prior to this of course) yesterday but my day turned out amazingly wonderful and busy!

It was James' day off so we were able to go on a day out in town. First we checked out the newly opened H&M store and we actually purchased a shirt for James! No, that's not a typo. We really did buy a piece of clothing that wasn't for me - for once! Well, the smallest size they had in the store was size 6 and I really must get something from there, it would have to pluck it from the children's department. The clothes for 13 year old's are just the right size for me. In fact I told James that one of these days I am going to try on something from the Children's range.

Two days ago I got the jacket I ordered from ASOS.com which fit me perfectly. It was off their Petite range in UK size 4 which is the equivalent of US size 0. I mean, is zero even a valid size?? To be honest I am really not skinny, I have seen many ladies here who are a lot skinnier than I am. It's just the petite Asian frame I have which seems to be too big for any high street clothes. Yesterday I was very disappointed to find out that I don't fit in a skinny jeans from River Island. I really loved the embellishments and detail on the front and back of it. Sadly, the smallest size they had it in was 6 and it was literally falling off me with every movement I make. I have never bought a pair of jeans here in the UK but I will make sure that when I do I won't bother if they haven't got it in size 4 - unless of course I gain weight then perhaps I could actually buy stuff off the shops here and not have to rely on ASOS and Miss Selfridge and some Topshop (rip off!). Perhaps I should go and check ASDA out as I read that they do some petite clothing in size 4.

Another highlight of my day yesterday was having my hair cut and styled! It's long overdue to be honest. I had three and a half foot of hair I carry around on the top of my head which strangles me in my sleep at night and which I sit on pulling my scalp well hard in the process. I didn't realise how heavy that amount of hair could be until I chopped a foot of it. My head felt a lot lighter and I can sit down without worrying about pulling my hair. An hour and a half sat on the salon chair at Toni & Guy's it was finally over - the day that I was anxious about for a long time. James and I then went to have my passport and licence photos and then had a nice stroll to Dunelm Mill to see what we could spend the voucher that Richard and Wendy gave us for a pressy when we moved into our new flat. It's been under a fridge magnet for four months and we finally spent it yesterday on:

• bath towels
• matching pedestal and bath mat
• black out curtain liner
• small bin for the bedroom

and probably go back for bed sheets as we still have £20 left on the voucher! Or maybe a cake stand, pipping bag, cookie cutter... the list goes on! There are some really ace stuff in their kitchen section.

I LOVED the weather yesterday, it was the perfect temperature!
Until we came out of Dunelm Mill...
It absolutely chucked it down on us! Good thing about having long and thick hair is that unlike James who got soaked the second the rain fell, I actually didn't feel wet until we were almost home. I will remember to wear water proof mascara next time just in case I get soaked haha!!
On a bad day I would have gone bonkers that my hair got ruined after it got styled to the tee, but yesterday was absolutely perfect. It was like déjà vu for us really. We had the same situation in Baguio when we went to the market and it rained cats and dogs out of nowhere and neither of us ever carry a brolly with us. We both hate carrying an umbrella, it's silly yes but we'd rather get wet than have the bother of a brolly. Of course on a really cold day, I have learned to take one with me because getting wet on a 5 degree C - weather is not very nice.


To top it all off, the pork roast I marinated overnight turned out absolutely lovely. I suck at making gravy but last night I made a red wine gravy and James loved it. He normally just have ketchup because I am notorious for making lumpy gravy - so much so that I have stopped trying, until last night. The roast vegetables that I served with it also came out perfect, I have overdone my veg in the past before :p

So yes, I had a brilliant Tuesday - too ace to write a sad piece on lies and pretentious friendships.

A Good Reason to JUST BE YOURSELF

PART ONE

I have to admit - I find her entertaining in a peculiar sort of way.

Sometimes I think time do change people quite a lot. But then I realised some people probably take their time to admit to themselves who they really are, and they then choose the people they would like to share their real selves with. AND if you don’t happen to be in that selection you get to see what they really wanted to be. This is probably why people loves the internet and social networking so much. They don’t use it to keep in touch with their friends really, but in a profile page they get to be what they want people to think they are. This is OK as long as it doesn’t harm of hurt people.
When I was 14 years old I got hooked on chatting. I discovered the magic of the internet - I was absolutely gobsmacked to say the least. Why not? I was talking to people from different parts of the world! Later I will discover that there are a lot of perverts lurking behind sweet screen names and phoney profiles just waiting for a vulnerable prey to take the bait. The benefit of this discovery is that I knew at a young age which men to take seriously and I can count them on the fingers of one hand.
I have not been all the truthful myself, oh no. In fact my first (non-junk) email account has the number “17” after my name which supposedly there to represent my age. But that was about it. I lied about my age until I was finally 18. Phew!
But I never lied about my hobbies, interests and the things that amused and amazed me. I never lied about the things that made me laugh or made me angry. Nor the things that annoyed me and why they did so much. I see no point in talking to someone if you can’t be yourself. I really LOVE people who can hold a good conversation because I just LOVE good conversations. I like learning about other people and sharing my opinions on matters that I am passionate about. This is probably the reason why I got so fond of chatting on AIM when I was younger. I especially loved it before I had a photograph scanned and posted on my profile. Because up until that point, people and I were just talking - about cultures, political views, animals’ amazing instinct and pretty much anything under the sun. Somehow looks didn’t matter at all.

I forgotten about the virtual world when I started working. On a jeepney home after a long day at work in Picture City Digital the guy sat next to me called “Miss… excuse me, miss”. There were about 8 other people in the jeep so I felt pretty safe, not to mention the fact that my workmate Rowel, volunteered to take me home that evening so I smiled at him and found out he looked pretty harmless. Then he said, “do you mind if I touch your hair?”. I said sure after scanning his hands with my eyes and making sure he had no pair of scissors hidden in the palm of his hands or something. He then asked me if I’d be interested to do some hair modelling for David’s Salon. I may be gullible but I’m not stupid so I just shrugged it off thinking he is taking the piss. I guess he read my mind so he hand me a business card and asked me for a mobile number, I said I didn’t have one even though I did. He was persistent and asked me where he could contact me so I told him he could come see me in the mall where I worked. The next afternoon there he was! And to make the long story short, I said yes to his offer. At one of the events, I met Kaye for the first time. My first impression of her is vague but I remember her being nice and funny. That was when our friendship began.

My heart really went out for her when I found out she was working a 13 hour job for P80 (£1{the minimum wage then was 300 pesos}) at a VCD rental and lived in box of a room of a nearby boarding house. She isn’t from Angeles City that is why she is renting a room in a boarding house as her province is several hours away. We kept in touch and actually went out dancing many times and bonded quite well. When I got a better job in a hotel and found out they were looking for more staff I asked Kaye if she would like to work there as a DJ in the karaoke lounge of the hotel she was hesitant. I made her a CV and tweaked the job experience bit. I was so psyched when she got the job and I made sure I taught her how to work the DJ equipment in the booth (they were pretty basic, my brother worked as a DJ in a record bar) before our boss catch on. Thankfully he didn’t and working there has been one of the best times of my life working with 4 of my best friends in the world (Kaye, Karen and my childhood bezzy, Sarah).

But nothing lasts forever as we all know. Eventually we moved on with time, after the hotel shut down the Karaoke Lounge, Kaye decided to take the offer to work in the girly bar wing of the hotel, Karen and Sarah didn’t - Karen had a baby soon after and Sarah worked as an office administrator in another hotel, and so did I. That’s when we lost touch except Sarah and I.
Three years later we had a bit of a reunion. And you’d think we would be a bit wiser. Well, we weren’t.

some interesting WOW convos

I logged on WOW today to check how my brother's guild is holding up. I don't want him to go back in WOW and find out his guild has disbanded. So after a chat with some people about the guild I thought I'd do VoA25. I like doing it cos it doesn't take long. But I feel guilty for rolling for an item that I probably will never use. A roll of 100 lead to this conversation:






It's not the first time that people remember me from somewhere, even players who have migrated to other realm, or who still are in my old realm. It really puts a smile to my face when people remember me and not for anything bad or nasty. I probably wasn't as frank and tactless as I thought I was!

02.10.09

Grey's Anatomy Season 6 Ep2

Paranoia . We're all susceptible to it - the dreadenings idea of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end. All the worrying and all the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do... stop worrying.
You need to stop worrying about what's going to happen, you need to focus on what is right in front of you.
"Because the only cure for paranoia is to be here, just as you are.

This is my worry-free self yesterday! @Sainsbury's for food shopping <3 ...

...and my favourite part of any house where I forget all my worries! (cooking last night's tea: bacon and parsley salad in olive oil , lemon and balsamic drizzle for starters served with grilled garlic french bread with melted mozzarella cheese , roasted chicken stuffed with cream cheese and basil wrapped in parma ham for main served with champ and boiled carrots and mange tout, and apple charlotte for pud.)

Farewell WOW?

This started my annoyance on playing WOW.

So I played less and less even after Blizz sorted the instance server issue. When I started getting ill, I left my brother's guild because I did not intend to raid anymore. It's not fun anymore. But I know James has not gone off WOW yet, and he has very few hobbies so I understand. He needs a form of relaxation because he works long hours most days and he never once complained about anything. So I thought I'd get him to a semi-hardcore guild, formed by the core members of our old guild that we were in a couple of years ago. I made an application on the website of Main Source of DPS whilst James was at work and didn't tell him until he got accepted. I was really happy to see him breeze 25man raids, and he's also doing 10 and 25heroics modes now. 40k HP unbufffed with skills to match, he's well chuffed.

A few days ago I thought I'd log on my hunter to do VoA25 and see how it goes. I wanted to know if I have really gone off it. I thought I'd be well behind on the damage meters since my gear item lvl is really behind now but I was surprised I still did well.

Nothing changed though. Four years of playing WOW with two years of it being so easy with all its challenges lost, doing VoA did not change anything. I have nothing to prove in WOW anymore and lots to prove IRL. I'm not saying goodbye but perhaps I will play again - perhaps not. We'll see. I will keep you posted.

Wickedmaniak is my Guild Master 3 odd years ago

Bad things lead to GOOD realisation.

You’d think that after a year of crying because of extreme homesickness - being away from friends, family and my beloved pets - that I have run out of tears. That’s what I thought. But when I got ill for a whole month, I cried some more. But I didn’t cry as much because James looked after me like a dedicated NHS nurse. I thought that must be me running out of tears,
Until Friday, 25th of September.

I was chuffed Friday morning, so, so incredibly happy and excited. The previous night James had booked the hotel that we are staying at in London. After my many trips to the doctors and hospital which resulted to me conquering my fear of needles and injections another good thing happened to me. I realised I should live my life. I’ve been blessed with a lot of my prayers answered and what am I doing wasting it? So I thought London is practically next door to me now (for 22 years it’s been 8,000 miles away) and I always admired video clips and photos of it. I think it is a magical place. And what am I doing still admiring it from here? I live a 2 minute-walk from the train station! The following day after I got out of the hospital I searched for cheap hotels as I think there is no point staying at a posh hotel when all we need is a bed and bathroom. I’m not going to London to waste time in a hotel room. And then I browsed through train tickets, The Eye tickets, open bus tour tickets and everything ticket we will need. I have listed places that I wanted to see and had to narrow it down to fit in the 3 nights we are spending there. I left some low priority places to give us enough time to properly take London in as well as to give us incentive to go back again.
So you see, I was so chuffed that I finally organised our ‘Little London Tour’.
But on Friday morning all that changed.
At first it didn’t bother me so much seeing on BBS news that Manila is flooded. It always floods in Manila. But something was unusual - the village where my brother lives with his wife and 6 year-old son was mentioned on the telly. I quickly logged on the Filipino Community website where I watch TV Patrol (and other Philippine programmes) regularly.
I have never worried about my brother before. He’s always looked after himself. But when I found out that their house is underwater and is staying at the safety of their neighbour’s two-storey house I got really worried. It is so different watching the floods when you know your loved ones may be on one of the rooftops waving white cloth hoping to be rescued. I suddenly felt guilty that whilst I was filled with joy over the London holiday, my brother was suffering. The news that they are safe and that the flood has subsided a wee bit somehow lessened my pain. But to find out on Monday morning that they’ve lost most of their stuff to the flood still devastated me. The important thing is that they are all safe.

On Sunday morning James and I left our flat early to go to his parents’ house to see them. They were out on a walk so whilst we wait, I made them some soured apple pie streusels and special fruit scones. That is the first time me and James went to visit them together since moving to our flat. Maddie has visited us like 20 times since leaving 184.

On Monday morning I got a call from Maddie saying she wants to pay for my driving lessons and the cost of provisional driving licence. I tried to refuse but she said she already wired money to our account. She’s quite pleased to know that I wanted to learn to drive since James is not bothered about it just at the moment.
After our 5 minute convo that is when I found out about my brother losing everything. I didn’t know what to feel then. I had things to be very happy about - I am feeling a lot better after a month of being almost bedridden; I have a trip to London booked and I am learning to drive - but I felt guilty to feel happy because of my brother’s situation.
That night, I got a text from Maddie asking if my mum and family are OK. I replied to her saying mum’s OK brother is not as his village is one of the worst hit areas.
Immediately she offered to help and immediately I refused. I just felt like she has done too much already. But Maddie really has a generous heart, she’s always been involved in various charities. So in the end she said she intends to help whether I agree or not.
It was very likely but unexpected. Once again I felt really lucky to still be surrounded by kind and caring people. She said ‘they are my extended family and if we could help, we’d love to’. The following day we had £300 in our bank account to send to my brother. And she sent me a text that read: “scones for payment please xx”.
This is real blessing - it is not the money but the thought. The first thing she said to James when they spoke about helping my brother was that ‘I can’t even imagine his 6 year old son lost all his toys’. I must have done something right in my life.