A Dream Come True

Happy Graduation! I always knew you were born to save lives. You've saved mine many times and that was before you were a full-fledged paramedic! 8 years ago you told me you wanted to save lives and now here you are! Congratulations, G-man. You've worked so hard and now it's finally paid off. I could not be happier for you.

Family Meals

Growing up I don't really have a recollection of family meals. My mother was a career woman and she was hardly ever around. I mean, physically my mother was always present as she worked from home but she was always in her bedroom writing her heart away. She was always working on strict deadlines and no one was allowed to speak with her when she's in there writing. My dad, on the other hand, was hardly ever home. He worked every day until he decided to turn into a drunk monster and break his leg after which time he turned into a couch potato and pretty much took over the lounge and watched endless shit on the telly.
My brothers and sister all lived in boarding houses in Manila and later on went to university and I hardly ever saw them. I have no memory of my parents eating together either, let alone of them eating with me. Sometimes when my brother came home for the weekend from Univ, we did eat together but he always read a book whilst eating and he did not like to be talked to when he is reading - which was all the time. On the other hand i remember eating with my sister when she came home for the weekend from University which wasn't often at all but when she was around we made the most of it. My sister is ace and I looked up to her growing up. She truly is my original best friend and she made sure we had quality time together when she did manage to come home for some weekends and holidays, and that included meals together.
I suppose this is the root of my strong desire to make sure Scott associates meal times with good times with the family. Perhaps I want him to grow up in a house where family meals is the normalcy and a chance to tell each other how our days went. I never really imagined myself to become a parent but when I was younger I told myself that if I ever did become one, I will make sure that my child gets the things I never had. This is one of those things.

I Keep The Past In My Pocket

It's funny that people say you should leave the past exactly where it is - behind you. For me though, when I feel at a loss in the present all I have to do is look to the past and I find my answers there to better face the future.
I draw strength from my past, too.
For all that I've been through and every struggle I faced and all the stupid things I dared taking on, I am who I am today because of my past. I take the lessons learned and leave the broken pieces behind. Yes, a filter works damn well. It's not a sign of weakness when you can't let go of your past, but for me it's my way of reminding myself that I got this far in life because I was strong enough to win my past battles. Nostalgia is indeed a good treatment for a broken heart. I highly recommend it. xXx

We were hot and cold, back and forth, love and hate. I have never argued with someone so much and so often but I have never loved someone so much either. Most of all I have never felt so loved so much. I miss you.