POEMS GALORE - My Private Thoughts

UPDATE: **I will post some new poems I wrote soon.** |29 March 2008|

I've always loved writing just about anything. I find it to be a good way to relieve stress and anger. From when I was young, I would rather pour my tears and anger into paper, and later on read it and learn how stupid I had been, or how young and naive I once was. It was through reading my own writings that I learned so much about myself that I otherwise would have never known.

I haven't been writing a lot lately. Maybe it's because I am happy and content with my life at the moment. I usually just write when I am frustrated or angry or disappointed. I do it to console myself, without having to feel pity or wishing I would have done different. To sum my life up, there is nothing I would change, really. I know things happen for a reason, and I have so much faith in God and my family that I don't always have to know what the reason is behind everything.

So, I don't ask questions, I take life as it comes. I cry, but 99% of the time, I would just write than waste my time and effort into something as empty as tears and unproductive as hate.

Here are just some of the poems I have written.
NOTE: I like to write "improperly", (all in small letters) it looks cuter that way :p

The cold nights are over

I should be pleased

But these thoughts of you

Often makes me freeze

I know I hurt you

Sorry is not enough

And there is nothing I can do

To make the pain stop

I may sound like I’m recycling old lines

And I’m trying to make them sound new

But all I really am trying to do

Is tell you that I’m sorry I made you blue.

Only time can tell and your heart can decide

I’m not going to push it this time

I hope you know the feeling wasn’t all a lie

And may you find it in your heart to forgive me

In time.

- Foxy 3-4-09 -

HOME

By Vei

4:38AM home time

I never knew how much I loved you

Until I left

I never realized what it was all for

The pain you felt

I couldn’t wait to leave you

It was a mistake

Now here I am longing for you

But you think it’s fake.

I always saw your flaws

Never the best

I chose to look at the worst

And compare you with the rest

You had everything and more

And I miss you

You loved me and I left you

Now I can’t go back.

I see your open arms

Ready for me

But the seas in between us

Makes an impossibility

I can only admire you from here

And love your from afar

Now I know it is true what they say, I believe

That there is no place like home, indeed.

08-12-06
by Me -.-

i know what i am about to do is wrong
but where do i go from here?
i've been staring at this road since you left me
and the tears haven't dried since then
my vision is still blurry
my eyes still sore
my heart is still empty
from everything i tried to ignore
it's hard to imagine life without you
mornings without the dream
days of not looking forward to something
that someday you will come and complete me
and piece together my heart
it's not broken but it feels like it
every time i wake up and realise we are apart
i need to tell you a lot of things
but like this road, it leads nowhere
i'd rather turn back and not know
than walk on and find out I lost the dream
i waited for you for so long
dreamt of it a million times and more
in my heart i know you are the one i should be with
but i know that in yours, i will never be the one you need.

17-12-06
09:39AM

I know I've been weak to your charm
And I believed everything you said so easily
I never questioned how you felt about me
It was a mistake I seem to repeat so fondly

But nothing stays the way they are
Love needs to be nourished for it to grow
It wasn't really cos you lived far
But because you only wanted me in times of your sorrow

It will never be a question of how I felt
You know damn well I loved you more than you gave me a chance to show
I kept a special place in my heart waiting for you to fill it
But the waiting stops here, and I can no longer keep this

Maybe it was the right love at the wrong time
Who knows what it could really be
I can't keep guessing how you feel
Until you know what you want, we will never know the deal.

I have been stupid and blind for so long
I hope you enjoyed the show, cos now I know where I belong
This girl has realised her real worth
It's sad that you didn't, cos I would have loved you all my life,
I would have given you things you never had, or ever will
But the game stops here, finally
Look elsewhere cos your fall back girl is no longer gonna be me.



18.12.06
6:12AM

Every time I take a step forward, you take two steps back
This scares me but I don't let you see
I don't have much courage in me when it comes to you
Because I've never been in love as much before I met you.
And I can say, there is nothing I wouldn't do to be with you
But when I try to get closer, you pull so quickly back
So I'm not that strong, you knew this from the start
It's not an excuse but it's hard to say when we are apart
I have tried many times to dismiss the love I feel inside
But I fail each time, cos I end up wishing you were by my side.
Somewhere in my heart, I know we will make it
"When" is the question I wish I knew the answer to
All I know is that I should be with you
And I feel that somewhere in your heart, you need me too.
I don't tell you these things that I feel
You probably will laugh at it and say, "it's surreal"
But in case I never get to tell you what's inside my heart
Just know that I have loved you right from the very start.

by: Vei
1:12AM / 5:11PM

I can't believe how fast time dashes by
I didn't even see the sun before it has set
Look at us now and how far we've swam against the tide
After what seems to be only days since we've met

So many things have changed and yet they're still the same
Your smile still says I am the best thing in your life
I couldn't even remember the way we came
But I don't worry because you're always beside me in every stride.

We walked together in the summer days and enjoyed the sun
We laughed until we couldn't breathe anymore
In the cold nights that followed, our strong bond is still next to none
You were always there even when we didn't know what this life is lived for.

Could I really say I've left home for you?
Sometimes I'm not quite sure
You have been my home for a time now
And my heart beats inside yours
And I realise that it is with you
That I feel safe and sheltered from whatever storm
You love me body and soul and the flawed heart I don't dare show
And for all of the many reasons, yes YOU are my home.

18.12.06
9:35AM

I can't believe I just told you how I really feel
Damn it feels good to let it all out
It's been too long to keep them buried inside me
And if I never get the chance to see you, I will be happy
To know that you know what is inside my heart
That I have never stopped loving you even when we fell apart
And the times you were away I have missed you everyday
Now that you're back in my life, there is so much to say
When I think about you, I wonder if you are happy
Then I smile to the thought that sometimes you wish you were with me
I long to be in your arms and be able to talk with no words
To be close to you is enough, I'd be happy
Not one day passed when I didn't think of you
Somehow I knew I will always be in love with you
I don't know what it was that you did and didn't do
But I have always cared and wished your love was true.
And I will keep wishing until that moment comes
I know you are worth every single minute
And if you decide you no longer feel for me
I still won't regret loving the person you are entirely.

______________________________


19.03.2006

by Vei



How do you get over something so complicated?

You lose yourself in the mere thought of it

All my life, I never felt so obligated

Until the day I realised my life didn't make sense without you in it.



How do you solve something that is not a problem?

But a bitter truth that cannot be changed

It haunts me all the time and it won't go away

I can't fight it because I no longer have the strength to find my way.



How do I get over someone who had been a star?

Shining down upon me when I was low to the ground

He had been a dream but sadly, it all ended

And along with it, a genuine smile that has forever faded.


I truly miss you and I realise it more each day

I regret the day I traded you for another, I curse that day

You asked for forgiveness but I didn't listen to a word you said

I didn't know it was the last time I'll ever be happy, how life make us pay.

___________________________________________________________
Beautiful Stranger



I met this beautiful stranger

He took my breath away

I wanted to get to know him

But I didn't know what to say

I dreamt of his smile before

Tasted his lips and wanted more

I felt his breath on my skin

Yet fate has been very mean

Can I see you smile again

I haven't seen it for a while

A beautiful stranger you are

Always had wish you weren't so far

I don't know everything about

This beautiful stranger in my dreams

In fact, I may not know him at all

Though I know nothing is what it seems

Indeed he wouldn't catch me if I fall

Yet I'm still wishing he'd call

I want to take a chance on you

Yet it frightens me to even try to

And before I can even run away

I've fallen in love in so many ways

And I wanna tell him so much

That I still dream of his touch

But as much as I want to tell him this

This feeling I shall have to dismiss

So stranger, see you in my dreams

Maybe there you'll feel the same as I do

And who knows maybe there

I can make you love me too





Goodnight Beautiful Stranger



Beautiful stranger
You captured my heart
I don't know how you did it
And i don't know how you tore it apart
All I know is I fell
Into your bittersweet spell
You had a voice of an angel
I hear it even in my sleep
Right that moment
I knew I've fallen so deep
One night, I thought you were falling for me too
But perhaps i was just dreaming in blue
But I'll never forget the day I fell in love with you
Cause that's the last day I ever loved true



Goodnight my beautiful stranger
I'll see you in my dreams
When we're there together
We'll do the things that I miss
Goodnight beautiful stranger
I'll blow you a kiss
Hold you in my arms
Please don't resist
Sweet dreams to you
It doesn't matter if not of me
As long as you sleep tightly
That's enough, I can sleep soundly
______________________________________________

One Night in September

20-11-2004/Vei



I keep all your mails and I read them all the time

I read them when I'm lonely because they make me smile

I read them when I miss you and wish you were here

And right now I'm reading them again, still.

I have tried to busy myself with other things

I did it to get you out of my head

But I guess it just doesn't work that way

Because it's still you I think about at the end of the day



It's been a long time since you wrote me last

To you I'm probably just a thing of the past

We still talk but you've been rather cold

I don't know what I did that we got to this point

We're almost like strangers, so we are

Nothing like that night you held me in your arms

I've never felt so secure and peaceful the way I had with you

Never laughed as hard and care free the way I did with you

I don't know if it's something I did or didn't do

But somehow I wish you'd let me know

You couldn't tell me it's nothing because that wouldn't be true

We both know the feeling was strong

I just couldn't figure out where we went wrong



And I miss you now more than I ever have

But I don't want to be just your friend

And I know you know it too, if you only think of the times we spent

We could've talked all night, kissed and cuddled in between

We had a perfect time together, it was better than a dream

Perhaps it was my fault because I ran away,

But remember, so did you

I got scared and you did too

I know I'm only telling this to myself cos I can never tell you

I will just pray that one day you'd be looking back too

On one beautiful night in September, we did fall in love true.


__________________________________________________________

15-11-2003



I'm back here again with my pen

Trying to hear my thoughts in spite of the rain

I've been sitting here trying to find the perfect words to say

To try and tell you why I had to run away



It's not easy to understand, I know

It's even harder to love you and not let it show

I look at us together and I wanted to cry

Instead I look away and cover the tears with a smile



To me, you're almost perfect, just so right

I wish I was stronger to give this one a fight

But right now all I know is I need to say goodbye

Love you in silence and wait till my heart is done with its last cry.

_____________________________________________________________


I always think about making love to you

As soon as I close my eyes I see and feel you

I will never forget how my heart beat laying next to you

In your arms I felt safe and brand new.



When I look into your eyes, I see your heart

And I feel it too even though we're far apart

It's a strange feeling I'm not used to feeling

Now I'm saying words I'm not even used to hearing



I wish I can tell you all my thoughts tonight

All the dreams I have of you and I

Call me crazy but this is what I feel

I've fallen for you despite my own will


"17"


I've made a lot of dreams when I was a child

I've overcome the struggles; hard and mild

I've known what to say and say them right

I've made people's life go dim and bright



I've made promises to myself a million times

I've made some come true and some failed twice

I've learned how to reach out and how to hide

I've learned to doubt love and just keep it inside



I've made my heart heal because it was always broken

I've learned to stop tears because they kept on falling

I've known fake love because it kept on coming

I've learned to hate hope because it kept disappearing



I've made my dreams come true deep inside me

I've felt how hard it is living alone could be

I've hated and hurt people who have loved me

But I've never found the answer to why the world had always been unfair to me



I've made lots of wishes in my seventeen years

I've learned a lot of lesson when I cry every tear

Nevertheless I've learned to be stronger facing my fears

That's how my life has been in my seventeen years

________________________________________________________