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24 September 2012
18 September 2012
Late Night Thoughts
How do you make that transition from One Great Love to Friends without becoming strangers? I wish I knew.
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When people judge you so harshly because of a terrible mistake you've made, you wonder if there is any point explaining yourself.
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I've been told on many occasions that my face is such an open book. Have they thought about who controls which pages to show though? I wonder.
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The only problem with having you around is that I miss you when you're not.
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When people judge you so harshly because of a terrible mistake you've made, you wonder if there is any point explaining yourself.
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I've been told on many occasions that my face is such an open book. Have they thought about who controls which pages to show though? I wonder.
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The only problem with having you around is that I miss you when you're not.
15 September 2012
When Wife Meets The Wanna-be Other Woman
There can't be a shortage of men in Chesterfield!
I suppose it's not unlikely to grow fond of someone you work with and that's OK if that someone is NOT married.
Yesterday, I took my mother and my son to the restaurant pub where James works. I made sure the woman in question worked that day. I also made sure I looked good, of course :) I came there with no intention of showing any indication of what I suspect and what I already know.
She acted weird from the second she saw me. I was a good 2ft away from where she stood when she saw and recognised me instantly. I asked for James and she couldn't wait to get away to get him. Personally I only ever acted like that when my boss caught me texting at work! And from there she just kept avoiding to meet my eyes -- even when she asked if I would like ice with my drink! She kept looking down and hiding behind one of the other staff there. 10 months ago when we first met, she was so jolly and friendly to me and Scott. Yesterday, she was a completely different person. Her behaviour around me said it all.
I'm absolutely certain that there isn't a shortage of men in Chesterfield. I don't understand why people lower themselves to such a degree in pursuit of a married person. I cannot speak for other people but in my situation, it had actually brought me and my husband closer. The stresses of his recent promotion at work had gotten to him and the stress of being a new mother had gotten to me, plus a few other things in between. When James put his arm around me at the carvery deck which is situated next to the bar where she stood, she left and went to the far side of the room. As I subtly watched her go I wondered what I was so worried about. She poses no threat to me. She is a thousand leagues below average in the looks department and she is quite on the curvy side. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but James has a strict taste for petite and slender brunettes. I know it is not all about the looks but I'm not going to lie... It helps that she looked 10 years older than me!
If I'm being completely honest, I would say I am quite a tough act to follow. James will never find anyone who will understand and put up with his one major flaw that only the two of us (and possibly his family and my mum) really know and acknowledge. He, out of all people, realises this. But he is such a nice person that it is easy to mistaken his niceness for affection. We've mended the tattered edges now and he's been trying so hard that it is hard not to forgive him - again. He's forgiven my misgivings so why can't I do him the same favour? As long as a person is trying to make amends, then he or she deserves a chance.
If the woman in question does not stop texting, calling and asking him stupid favours I will still let him deal with her. I will never stoop to her level and confront her. High road all the way.
(this pic was taken on the very day the events in this blogpost took place)
I suppose it's not unlikely to grow fond of someone you work with and that's OK if that someone is NOT married.
Yesterday, I took my mother and my son to the restaurant pub where James works. I made sure the woman in question worked that day. I also made sure I looked good, of course :) I came there with no intention of showing any indication of what I suspect and what I already know.
She acted weird from the second she saw me. I was a good 2ft away from where she stood when she saw and recognised me instantly. I asked for James and she couldn't wait to get away to get him. Personally I only ever acted like that when my boss caught me texting at work! And from there she just kept avoiding to meet my eyes -- even when she asked if I would like ice with my drink! She kept looking down and hiding behind one of the other staff there. 10 months ago when we first met, she was so jolly and friendly to me and Scott. Yesterday, she was a completely different person. Her behaviour around me said it all.
I'm absolutely certain that there isn't a shortage of men in Chesterfield. I don't understand why people lower themselves to such a degree in pursuit of a married person. I cannot speak for other people but in my situation, it had actually brought me and my husband closer. The stresses of his recent promotion at work had gotten to him and the stress of being a new mother had gotten to me, plus a few other things in between. When James put his arm around me at the carvery deck which is situated next to the bar where she stood, she left and went to the far side of the room. As I subtly watched her go I wondered what I was so worried about. She poses no threat to me. She is a thousand leagues below average in the looks department and she is quite on the curvy side. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but James has a strict taste for petite and slender brunettes. I know it is not all about the looks but I'm not going to lie... It helps that she looked 10 years older than me!
If I'm being completely honest, I would say I am quite a tough act to follow. James will never find anyone who will understand and put up with his one major flaw that only the two of us (and possibly his family and my mum) really know and acknowledge. He, out of all people, realises this. But he is such a nice person that it is easy to mistaken his niceness for affection. We've mended the tattered edges now and he's been trying so hard that it is hard not to forgive him - again. He's forgiven my misgivings so why can't I do him the same favour? As long as a person is trying to make amends, then he or she deserves a chance.
If the woman in question does not stop texting, calling and asking him stupid favours I will still let him deal with her. I will never stoop to her level and confront her. High road all the way.
(this pic was taken on the very day the events in this blogpost took place)
13 September 2012
He Called Me 'Babe'
Eight years ago you told me that we can NEVER be friends, you said it is impossible for you to be just friends with me. You said that what stopped you from coming to see me 8 thousand miles away is the realisation that 'I will never do for you what you are willing to do for me'. "you're too good to be true, and I was right" was how you ended one of our late-night conversations. You have said the harshest words to me and most hurtful at the time you uttered them but you also said the sweetest and most encouraging words I've ever heard, and possibly will ever hear again.
But words are wind. Your actions spoke volumes though. I still hear you singing to me over the telephone whilst you played your guitar. Save for the sound of my son's voice, it is the sweetest sound I've ever heard. I remember when you struggled to get out of bed at a half-past seven in the morning just to log onto MSN and show me how beautifully the snow was falling outside your bedroom window. You made a mental note of how I longed to play in the snow. You said that was the next best thing and you wanted to share all the beautiful things with me -- that it makes you feel like I am there with you.
I remember everything. The good and the bad, the better and the worse, the best and the worst. I remember the best most of all though simply because there were more of those to recall.
You didn't choose me when you had the chance and I didn't choose you when I had the chance to. Eight long years have passed and now we are friends. I sincerely hope you were wrong when you said we can never be friends because having you around makes me feel brave and strong --stronger than I truly am.
Someone else is loving you now, you probably call her babe. I am happy for you, from the bottom of my heart. I hope she never does anything that will deeply hurt you. But that doesn't mean I will stop remembering. I will always remember. You used to call me 'babe'
I used to call you 'mine'.
But words are wind. Your actions spoke volumes though. I still hear you singing to me over the telephone whilst you played your guitar. Save for the sound of my son's voice, it is the sweetest sound I've ever heard. I remember when you struggled to get out of bed at a half-past seven in the morning just to log onto MSN and show me how beautifully the snow was falling outside your bedroom window. You made a mental note of how I longed to play in the snow. You said that was the next best thing and you wanted to share all the beautiful things with me -- that it makes you feel like I am there with you.
I remember everything. The good and the bad, the better and the worse, the best and the worst. I remember the best most of all though simply because there were more of those to recall.
You didn't choose me when you had the chance and I didn't choose you when I had the chance to. Eight long years have passed and now we are friends. I sincerely hope you were wrong when you said we can never be friends because having you around makes me feel brave and strong --stronger than I truly am.
Someone else is loving you now, you probably call her babe. I am happy for you, from the bottom of my heart. I hope she never does anything that will deeply hurt you. But that doesn't mean I will stop remembering. I will always remember. You used to call me 'babe'
I used to call you 'mine'.
12 September 2012
Just Another Random Poem
When I can say everything's fine, everything's Ok
That will be the day
I will tell you my secrets, what's really inside my heart
And how you have unknowingly broken it apart
When I'm over this dark spell
When the clouds have lifted from my sky
Perhaps then I will tell you it was you who helped me restore my pride
In my darkest hours you made me smile and kept pain at bay
You held my heart in your hands, kept it safe
So it will take forever, a lifetime and a lot of time
For me to realise that you never really were a friend of mine.
01/09/12
20:07/by Foxy
That will be the day
I will tell you my secrets, what's really inside my heart
And how you have unknowingly broken it apart
When I'm over this dark spell
When the clouds have lifted from my sky
Perhaps then I will tell you it was you who helped me restore my pride
In my darkest hours you made me smile and kept pain at bay
You held my heart in your hands, kept it safe
So it will take forever, a lifetime and a lot of time
For me to realise that you never really were a friend of mine.
01/09/12
20:07/by Foxy
Unrequited Love
If you're crying now you've got no one to blame
Only yourself and look you're not even ashamed
Your heart is breaking but you broke it yourself, yes you did
When you let him get too close and fell just as you feared.
His smile is now engraved in every little piece of your broken heart
You close your eyes and feel his lips pressed against your own
Forgetting is not easy but you know you should be smart
He will never love you back and that you've always known.
He doesn't even know how you feel nor would he care
You were just a passing fancy, a curious wager
You should not be in such despair, that's just not fair
Somebody promises to love you forever and you're chasing after an empty love affair.
Look at you standing in the rain, drenched in sorrow
You're smiling but your eyes are lonely and hollow
For all the pride that you so freely swallowed
Your love will still be unrequited come the morrow.
12/09/12
19:55/by Foxy
Only yourself and look you're not even ashamed
Your heart is breaking but you broke it yourself, yes you did
When you let him get too close and fell just as you feared.
His smile is now engraved in every little piece of your broken heart
You close your eyes and feel his lips pressed against your own
Forgetting is not easy but you know you should be smart
He will never love you back and that you've always known.
He doesn't even know how you feel nor would he care
You were just a passing fancy, a curious wager
You should not be in such despair, that's just not fair
Somebody promises to love you forever and you're chasing after an empty love affair.
Look at you standing in the rain, drenched in sorrow
You're smiling but your eyes are lonely and hollow
For all the pride that you so freely swallowed
Your love will still be unrequited come the morrow.
12/09/12
19:55/by Foxy
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