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The past few months have been very exciting for me. I have met a lot of neighbours in the new place we're renting. I got to walk and enjoy the countryside in glorious weather with a much better stamina than ever before. Apart from the 2-hour daily walks with Taz, I also do some aeroburn at least 20 minutes every day and I do some jogging in the park in the evening whilst James play fetch with Taz and I do these not really to lose weight but to keep fit. When I first came to Chesterfield I had to pause every 5 minutes because I get tired so easily. I had lousy stamina, to say the least.
Another benefit of exercise, as I realised, is it makes you happy! Not that I am not happy without exercise, but since doing a lot more physical activities, I feel calmer. Exercising causes the body to produce endorphins, chemicals that can help a person to feel more peaceful and happy and this is very true for me.
In September I received an unexpected email from a very special person to me. Actually it was so funny because I was just clearing out my Blackbery inbox because it was so full of FV spam and then there it was! I think I had to blink a few times to make sure my eyes are not deceiving me and then I had to take a deep breath before I clicked on the email as I was almost certain it was going to be nasty. But to my surprise, it wasn't nasty in the least bit. On the contrary it was short and sweet. It was a really good surprise. To know that someone close to your heart has forgiven you and wants to keep in touch and wants to know how you are is one of the best feeling one can ever experience. He was my first love as lame as that sounds! I'm such a cheeseball. They say that first love never dies, and I agree but it doesn't have to be the same kind of love. It has been over 10 years ago but I remember it so well like it was just yesterday. I am so glad to hear from Chris anyway, I give him credit for some of the dreams I didn't know I had in the first place. He made me write the best poems ever! He was really an inspiration to me during my rebellious teenage days. I am so happy that we are OK and are keeping in touch again. Who knows, he might come to England and I can be his tourist guide - ok, ok I will make a bad tourist guide here but I will try nonetheless. I must not have been a bad person because just last week I got an email from another special person in my life :) One of us might have to cross the bridge someday so burning it is not an option.
07 October 2010
29 September 2010
Dreams & Home
Everyone who knows me well will tell you I like staying in and I am at my most serene state when I am in front of the computer or reading a nice book with a big brew on the side. But that is THEN. I will be lying if I say I would not enjoy the same thing now but I can honestly say that I am at my most serene when I am walking up the hills of beautiful Chesterfield overlooking the lovely English countryside and running around with Taz and James. I have been mostly spending my time outdoors since getting Taz and sometimes I wish he knew how much he is doing for me AND how much he inspires me to do things I would not normally do.
Yesterday I went for an 8-mile hike with Maddie, James and Taz and I have truly impressed my mother-in-law with my newfound stamina! The last time we had a family walk was last Boxing Day with Chris, Liz, Maddie, me, and James and I was very slow, the road was all icy then but still. She also noticed how acclimatised I am when I stripped off my parka and my big walking coat after just a few minutes into the hike. I have to say though, walking in shorts and vest top is really comfortable and I can feel the nice crisp autumn breeze on my skin. It's a really wonderful feeling.
She broke the great news very early on in the walk, too.
I think it was one of the rare moments where I actually wished there was a CCTV somewhere and I can play it back and watch my face whilst the news was being relayed to me. I was utterly speechless but at the same time I wanted to scream and trust me, containing my excitement took a lot of effort. I think anyone would be if they were told that someone is about to give them a house! Yep, that is the great news.
Apparently my in-laws have spent the past year sorting out their finances and talking about putting in money for both their children's own home. Liz has decided she is staying in York and well, James and I both love Chesterfield and I have told James in the past that I woould always choose to settle near family, and while James' family live all over England and Scotland, he has a few here in Chesterfield.
My in-laws are going for another holiday in York for a week and then my mother-in-law said we will have a proper sit-down and talk about it. Until then, we are to look at potential houses with 3 bedrooms because according to her, "it needs to be big enough for when you're ready for a kid or two".
I grew up in a rented apartment, trust me we had a lovely 3 bed, 2bath home. It was in a semi-exclusive estate with armed security guards at the gates but that was never truly ours and I have always dreamed of having my own house where I can decorate it to my own taste and not be heartbroken when I have to leave.
I am so, so, so excited about buying our own house but until yesterday, it was just a distant dream. James and I still have many dreams to realise and fulfill together and buying our own house is one that we thought we would be able to achieve in not any less than five years. Neither of us thought it was going to be this soon. I am so grateful that God keeps blessing me even when I don't ask for it. A long time ago I had a choice between someone I love but would have to make a lot of sacrfices for and someone I liked who can give me everything money can buy. I chose love and now I am being rewarded for being willing to make a few compromises. When we moved here and got Taz, I had everything I wanted to be genuinely happy. I have been teaching myself to bake better and to cook bolder dishes and I am quite pleased about the result so far. I have slowed down on the hours of driving lessons since getting Taz but I am back on track now and hopefully before the year ends, I will have my UK driving licence. I have met many neighbours on my many walks with Taz and based on the invites I get to come in for a cuppa or brew, I'd like to think that I have made a good impression in my new neighbourhood.
Last night James mentioned that when I am ready to start working, we can save up for my mum to come to England for a holiday, to start with. And by then it will be easier to get her a visa when we have our own house where there is plenty of room for her.
Before my mother-in-law left yesterday after she dropped us off, she gave me a big hug and I said thank you to her for the wonderful news and i also expressed my shame that I won't have financial input with our first house, and gave me a huge genuine smile and said, "don't even think about it, love. Just keep feeding him. Keep loving him."
Yesterday I went for an 8-mile hike with Maddie, James and Taz and I have truly impressed my mother-in-law with my newfound stamina! The last time we had a family walk was last Boxing Day with Chris, Liz, Maddie, me, and James and I was very slow, the road was all icy then but still. She also noticed how acclimatised I am when I stripped off my parka and my big walking coat after just a few minutes into the hike. I have to say though, walking in shorts and vest top is really comfortable and I can feel the nice crisp autumn breeze on my skin. It's a really wonderful feeling.
She broke the great news very early on in the walk, too.
I think it was one of the rare moments where I actually wished there was a CCTV somewhere and I can play it back and watch my face whilst the news was being relayed to me. I was utterly speechless but at the same time I wanted to scream and trust me, containing my excitement took a lot of effort. I think anyone would be if they were told that someone is about to give them a house! Yep, that is the great news.
Apparently my in-laws have spent the past year sorting out their finances and talking about putting in money for both their children's own home. Liz has decided she is staying in York and well, James and I both love Chesterfield and I have told James in the past that I woould always choose to settle near family, and while James' family live all over England and Scotland, he has a few here in Chesterfield.
My in-laws are going for another holiday in York for a week and then my mother-in-law said we will have a proper sit-down and talk about it. Until then, we are to look at potential houses with 3 bedrooms because according to her, "it needs to be big enough for when you're ready for a kid or two".
I grew up in a rented apartment, trust me we had a lovely 3 bed, 2bath home. It was in a semi-exclusive estate with armed security guards at the gates but that was never truly ours and I have always dreamed of having my own house where I can decorate it to my own taste and not be heartbroken when I have to leave.
I am so, so, so excited about buying our own house but until yesterday, it was just a distant dream. James and I still have many dreams to realise and fulfill together and buying our own house is one that we thought we would be able to achieve in not any less than five years. Neither of us thought it was going to be this soon. I am so grateful that God keeps blessing me even when I don't ask for it. A long time ago I had a choice between someone I love but would have to make a lot of sacrfices for and someone I liked who can give me everything money can buy. I chose love and now I am being rewarded for being willing to make a few compromises. When we moved here and got Taz, I had everything I wanted to be genuinely happy. I have been teaching myself to bake better and to cook bolder dishes and I am quite pleased about the result so far. I have slowed down on the hours of driving lessons since getting Taz but I am back on track now and hopefully before the year ends, I will have my UK driving licence. I have met many neighbours on my many walks with Taz and based on the invites I get to come in for a cuppa or brew, I'd like to think that I have made a good impression in my new neighbourhood.
Last night James mentioned that when I am ready to start working, we can save up for my mum to come to England for a holiday, to start with. And by then it will be easier to get her a visa when we have our own house where there is plenty of room for her.
Before my mother-in-law left yesterday after she dropped us off, she gave me a big hug and I said thank you to her for the wonderful news and i also expressed my shame that I won't have financial input with our first house, and gave me a huge genuine smile and said, "don't even think about it, love. Just keep feeding him. Keep loving him."
15 September 2010
I'm a Lipsy London Wall of Fame-R
It feels amazing to see my photo hanging up on Lipsy Wall of Fame in between Lady Gaga's and Sarah Harding's photographs! I was really chuffed when I got an email from Lipsy stating that I have been chosen to represent Lipsy London Sheffield store in their wall of fame :) I was pleased to personally see my photo in Sheffield store but I was even more pleased about how nice and wonderful the staff were to me! Kudos to Lipsy Sheffield for a really warm and excellent customer service :)
01 September 2010
26 August 2010
Opinions, Opinions.
It is very unfortunate that the success of Maria Venus Raj in the Miss Universe 2010 is being overshadowed by the hostage crisis tragedy in Manila. The Philippines should be rejoicing over being in the Top 5 in the said pageant after a short hiatus. For some people who observe from the outside, this may sound truly absurdl and shallow. But for a country who has had a corrupt government since time immemorial, where 33% of the population is living below the poverty line and more than 10 million Filipinos go abroad to earn a living halfway around the world away from their families because jobs in the Philippines is severely scarce, the smallest of honour and recognition that a Filipino brings to the country no matter how insignificant it may seem to an outsider is massively appreciated and greatly brings joy and pride to the hearts of the Filipino people. We are happy when people recognise the Philippines as a Nation with potential and something to offer to the world. We don't like being in the international news for having an embarrassing police forces, or a newly-elected president who smiles whilst inspecting a bloody crime scene where foreign nationals lost their lives for no good reason. That is why whenever there is something good about the Philippines that gets the attention of the international media, the Philippines celebrate. So it's really too bad that the Nation can't fully celebrate to Venus' success when she finished 4th runner-up in the Miss Universe 2010.
I have my own opinion on the hostage crisis that turned into a bloody tragedy but I am not going to write about it. Nothing I say will change how the Philippines handle its affairs. It's a shame because the Filipino people are truly beautiful people - inside and out - and the Philippines has so much to offer but the government system and the corrupt government officials will always make it impossible for outsiders to even want to give the facts a chance. There is so much outrage from the Chinese people on what happened on Monday, but wait... History would tell you that China kills many of their own people every day. How long have they been a communist country again? They are generalising Filipino people and on a Facebook page, they even called Filipinos 'monkeys'. The last time I checked monkeys are one the most intelligents creature in the world. I can understand their anger but seriously people who generalise are the most stupid and idiotic in the world because they don't think at all. They should direct their outrage at the Filipino government officials and maybe that will get them up on their corrupt arses and do something good for once. I'll stop there.
******************************************************
I watched an interview with Ms Gloria Diaz today and I was so chuffed to know that someone actually shares my opinion! She says "That's a good idea [to get an interpreter] because I think Venus thinks in Tagalog and answers in English". This suggestion was supported by an English professor of the University of the Philippines and I agree completely by what he said. He says that if we speak in our native tongue, whether that be Tagalog or Bisaya we would be able to express our thoughts and feelings better.
Look at Miss Mexico who won the title this year. She speaks English but she still chose to speak in Spanish and have an interpreter and therefore gave a brilliant answer to her question. She deserved the crown. In my honest opinion, Miss Philippines has the weakest answer by far in the top 5. She could have done better if the Filipinos are not so embarrassed to have an interpreter in international beauty pageants. I think that under extreme pressure it will really help a lot and give her a bit of time to think as well. I am not saying that Filipinos can't speak good enough English but being able to express yourself in your native tongue, using words you use everyday will greatly aid the candidates to do better and take some pressure off their chest. I have met some Filipinos here who kept speaking to me in English when we both know we speak better Tagalog and to be honest I can barely understand what they say in English because it is so literally translated that it does not make sense anymore so I answer them in Tagalog, which makes them answer back in Tagalog. My husband would often ask me why Filipinos try so hard to speak English when they understand each other better in Tagalog. When he reads some Facebook status in English, he chuckles and says "That doesn't make sense whatsoever." I remember watching an interview with John Lloyd Cruz where he said "Yes, it's us." That made me literally ROTFL. He was pertaining to him and a new girlfriend. He literally translated "kami na" which means "we're an item" or "yes, we are together". I don't know why to many Filipinos, speaking English is a social status symbol or a determination of one's intelligence. I know someone who has a Doctorate and she still gets her English grammar completely wrong and lots of other people who have University degree who, like Ms Gloria Diaz said, thinks in Tagalog and speaks in English. The result? Lost in translation. But they aren't dumb. My point is, if these people get it wrong, what hope is there for the average Filipino? If we use an interpreter in international pageants and contests, then maybe it will make Filipinos realise that it is absolutely OK to express yourself in Tagalog. I am lucky to have grown up around a British father and a mother who loves to read English books, even though she writes her own novels in Tagalog :-) but I still speak a lot of Tagalog even around my husband. I teach him Tagalog and even bought him some Tagalog Audio CDs. His favourite expressions have been "sige", "loko ka" and "ayoko" for the longest time. He even says "oo" instead of "yes". To me that is absolutely wonderful to hear my husband speak in Tagalog even though I am the only Filipino person that he knows.
I know a girl who tries so hard to speak in English even with me that I just answer her in Tagalog because what she says in English is a total WORD SALAD to me. Seriously. Whatever language you can speak, always choose the one in which you can express your thoughts best. Choose to speak the language that makes, not only your voice but most of all, your heart heard.
I have my own opinion on the hostage crisis that turned into a bloody tragedy but I am not going to write about it. Nothing I say will change how the Philippines handle its affairs. It's a shame because the Filipino people are truly beautiful people - inside and out - and the Philippines has so much to offer but the government system and the corrupt government officials will always make it impossible for outsiders to even want to give the facts a chance. There is so much outrage from the Chinese people on what happened on Monday, but wait... History would tell you that China kills many of their own people every day. How long have they been a communist country again? They are generalising Filipino people and on a Facebook page, they even called Filipinos 'monkeys'. The last time I checked monkeys are one the most intelligents creature in the world. I can understand their anger but seriously people who generalise are the most stupid and idiotic in the world because they don't think at all. They should direct their outrage at the Filipino government officials and maybe that will get them up on their corrupt arses and do something good for once. I'll stop there.
******************************************************
I watched an interview with Ms Gloria Diaz today and I was so chuffed to know that someone actually shares my opinion! She says "That's a good idea [to get an interpreter] because I think Venus thinks in Tagalog and answers in English". This suggestion was supported by an English professor of the University of the Philippines and I agree completely by what he said. He says that if we speak in our native tongue, whether that be Tagalog or Bisaya we would be able to express our thoughts and feelings better.
Look at Miss Mexico who won the title this year. She speaks English but she still chose to speak in Spanish and have an interpreter and therefore gave a brilliant answer to her question. She deserved the crown. In my honest opinion, Miss Philippines has the weakest answer by far in the top 5. She could have done better if the Filipinos are not so embarrassed to have an interpreter in international beauty pageants. I think that under extreme pressure it will really help a lot and give her a bit of time to think as well. I am not saying that Filipinos can't speak good enough English but being able to express yourself in your native tongue, using words you use everyday will greatly aid the candidates to do better and take some pressure off their chest. I have met some Filipinos here who kept speaking to me in English when we both know we speak better Tagalog and to be honest I can barely understand what they say in English because it is so literally translated that it does not make sense anymore so I answer them in Tagalog, which makes them answer back in Tagalog. My husband would often ask me why Filipinos try so hard to speak English when they understand each other better in Tagalog. When he reads some Facebook status in English, he chuckles and says "That doesn't make sense whatsoever." I remember watching an interview with John Lloyd Cruz where he said "Yes, it's us." That made me literally ROTFL. He was pertaining to him and a new girlfriend. He literally translated "kami na" which means "we're an item" or "yes, we are together". I don't know why to many Filipinos, speaking English is a social status symbol or a determination of one's intelligence. I know someone who has a Doctorate and she still gets her English grammar completely wrong and lots of other people who have University degree who, like Ms Gloria Diaz said, thinks in Tagalog and speaks in English. The result? Lost in translation. But they aren't dumb. My point is, if these people get it wrong, what hope is there for the average Filipino? If we use an interpreter in international pageants and contests, then maybe it will make Filipinos realise that it is absolutely OK to express yourself in Tagalog. I am lucky to have grown up around a British father and a mother who loves to read English books, even though she writes her own novels in Tagalog :-) but I still speak a lot of Tagalog even around my husband. I teach him Tagalog and even bought him some Tagalog Audio CDs. His favourite expressions have been "sige", "loko ka" and "ayoko" for the longest time. He even says "oo" instead of "yes". To me that is absolutely wonderful to hear my husband speak in Tagalog even though I am the only Filipino person that he knows.
I know a girl who tries so hard to speak in English even with me that I just answer her in Tagalog because what she says in English is a total WORD SALAD to me. Seriously. Whatever language you can speak, always choose the one in which you can express your thoughts best. Choose to speak the language that makes, not only your voice but most of all, your heart heard.
José Rizal: Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika, daig pa ang hayop at malansang isda.
16 August 2010
Not Today
11.08.10 / by Vei
Say it’s OK to say I love you
We don’t have to run away
No, not today.
I love you doesn’t have to mean
We have to turn our backs
on the people who'd want us to stay.
Say it’s OK to say I need you
You don’t have to say it back
No, not today.
I need you but I’m not going to take you
Away from the life
That you may not want today.
Say it’s OK to keep you in a locket
Safely kept in my heart
I love you and I will say it
But I’m afraid it won’t be today.
Say it’s OK to say I love you
We don’t have to run away
No, not today.
I love you doesn’t have to mean
We have to turn our backs
on the people who'd want us to stay.
Say it’s OK to say I need you
You don’t have to say it back
No, not today.
I need you but I’m not going to take you
Away from the life
That you may not want today.
Say it’s OK to keep you in a locket
Safely kept in my heart
I love you and I will say it
But I’m afraid it won’t be today.
08 July 2010
05 July 2010
POEM: Just To Feel You
Just To Feel You
05.07.10
I always dream about you but never when I’m asleep
I’d sometimes stop whatever I’m doing and smile, too.
As you put your arms around me and whisper you are mine to keep
I’d sometimes close my eyes just to feel you.
I sometimes hear your voice when I stare at the wall
I smile to myself and stare at it some more
I think of you all the time that you wouldn’t believe it’s true
That I’d sometimes close my eyes just to feel you.
When my days get too busy to stop and dream of you
I’d lie in bed and close my eyes, forget everything that is true
I don’t want to fall asleep without the dream that will never come true
Because this is the only way I will ever be loved by you.
*****************************************************
Untold
05.07.10
I wish I could have read the last page of our unwritten love story
I wish I could have known the end
Whether it ended happily ever after or whether we ended up apart
I’d probably still give you my heart.
I wish I could have listen to our love song backwards
I wish I could sing along to it too
I don’t mind missing the start and the middle
As long as in the end, it’s still me and you.
Should I leave our story unwritten, our love untold
Maybe I’ll write our song and maybe a novel too
I just really wish I knew how things will unfold
Then maybe I will send this letter off to you.
I wish I could see into the future and hope in vain to see you there
Than looking back at the memories we never had the chance to make
In my heart I know there is so much love at stake
But will you be there with me if I decide the road to you is the one to take?
05.07.10
I always dream about you but never when I’m asleep
I’d sometimes stop whatever I’m doing and smile, too.
As you put your arms around me and whisper you are mine to keep
I’d sometimes close my eyes just to feel you.
I sometimes hear your voice when I stare at the wall
I smile to myself and stare at it some more
I think of you all the time that you wouldn’t believe it’s true
That I’d sometimes close my eyes just to feel you.
When my days get too busy to stop and dream of you
I’d lie in bed and close my eyes, forget everything that is true
I don’t want to fall asleep without the dream that will never come true
Because this is the only way I will ever be loved by you.
*****************************************************
Untold
05.07.10
I wish I could have read the last page of our unwritten love story
I wish I could have known the end
Whether it ended happily ever after or whether we ended up apart
I’d probably still give you my heart.
I wish I could have listen to our love song backwards
I wish I could sing along to it too
I don’t mind missing the start and the middle
As long as in the end, it’s still me and you.
Should I leave our story unwritten, our love untold
Maybe I’ll write our song and maybe a novel too
I just really wish I knew how things will unfold
Then maybe I will send this letter off to you.
I wish I could see into the future and hope in vain to see you there
Than looking back at the memories we never had the chance to make
In my heart I know there is so much love at stake
But will you be there with me if I decide the road to you is the one to take?
Needles and Me
Today I had to go back to the hospital for further tests. My appointment letter says I am there for an xray and another ultrasound but when I got there, I was met by a breast surgeon and a nurse who briefed me about the 'procedure' I was about to have. I was terrified when I heard the word 'procedure'.I have always been scared of needles. Seriously. The first time I have ever crossed the road successfully was when I was 9 years old after escaping from the Dermatology Clinic because they were about to cauterise the viral infection I contacted from the swimming pool we frequented at the time. In elementary I tried running away from the school clinic during the Hepatitis vaccination programme. I would pull my loose milk teeth with a string so my mum would not take me to the dentist to have them taken out. And when I was a bit older I yelled at the student nurses at one hospital when they tried to put me through a drip. I was more concerned of the needle going through my skin than my blood pressure getting dangerously low. If I recall correctly the doctor said it was at 60/50. Yep, it was that bad. My family and friends never did understand how I could easily pierce my belly button and ears.
I had my belly button pierced when I was 15, influenced by the cover girls on FHM magazines that my brother collected. I had to have it re-pierced just a few months later (before it even got the chance to fully heal) after my brother's dog, Rex, jumped on me due to over-excitement. And for a third time when the folder I was holding got caught between the barbell and I pulled it off too fast. I had to wait several weeks until the wound has healed before I could pierce it again. I didn't mind, it inspired me to stay fit. And well, yes I do have six ear piercings , three on each ear. I wanted a helix piercing as well which I never got around to doing and I'm not that bothered about it now so I probably won't be having it done anymore.
Anyway, I'd have any part of my body pierced before I have another biopsy. It was such a horrible experience. The nurse was mighty nice to volunteer to hold my hand and she was ever so concerned. I have a gift. I recognise genuineness. I have a curse too though. I am too empathetic. Today at the hospital both came to me. It happens every time I go to the hospital, which wasn't often at all until I came to the UK. This is why I didn't think I would mind the biopsy so much. Since registering at my local GP, I have had a series of blood tests and several trips to the hospital. The most notable of all was having my Implanon put in and taken out just after five months and that time I went to the hospital for a strange pain in my tummy, the doctor who said she was just going to take blood sample ended up putting me through a drip as well! The supposed short trip to the hospital took about three hours (it would have been five had I not refused to stay for more drip which the lady doctor recommended) because, apparently, I am hypotensive. I have that problem every time I see a doctor. They keep trying to up my blood pressure but it refuses to go any higher than 80/50-odd. No, doctor I don't feel dizzy. Well I didn't but I do now... seeing that big drip needle inside my arm and feeling that cold metal fascinator against my skin.
I am very proud to say that I am no longer scared of going for blood tests. In fact I would have loved to donate blood but they won't allow me to, being hypotensive and all. Perhaps in the future if my blood pressure stabilises, I will definitely donate blood. Right now I'll just be happy to be a registered organ donor.
I was told the last time I was in at the Breast Care Department of the CRH that they are positively certain that all it is Fibroadenoma and I shouldn't worry. The nurse told me that I should get a confirmation letter from my GP in ten days. I did get a letter a week later, all right, but it was no confirmation. Instead it was a letter for further tests, an appointment they made for me today. I always make it a point to apologise to the anaesthetist (or even if it's just the GP or nurse) when I look away when they are still talking me through the procedure I am about to have. Anything that involves a needle (or needles as was the case today) I just look away, and I apologise for doing so in case they think I am ignorant or rude.
I really wasn't prepared for the biopsy today. The letter I got says 'further ultrasound and Xray' so I was quite surprised finding out otherwise. I had to condition my mind and body for a couple of days before getting my belly button pierced, pinching the skin in that area numeral times a day!
I could swear I squeezed the poor nurse's hand too hard. I did apologise as soon as I stopped shaking and shivering.
They gave me another appointment to discuss the biopsy results and my options on Tuesday-week. Fingers crossed they will set my mind at ease once and for all.
*********************************************************
This is me @ the test centre on Sunday.
03 July 2010
Germany V Spain
Before the World cup 2010 began, James and I picked our team and put £50 on whoever gets the furthest in the tournament. Of course we wanted England to win it but we both knew that a group of star players crammed into one team is not champion material so he chose Spain and I chose Germany. Now both teams are going to face each other in the semi-finals! It's gonna be fun! I think Casillas is fit as feck but Germany's current set up really works and I hope they will win me 50quid =)
<3 Foxy xXx
<3 Foxy xXx
REFLECTIONS
On Chapter Three of Gwen Bailey's book, "The Perfect Puppy", she states that:
When I was young my mother was never really behind the one thing I loved doing the most: dancing/cheerleading. I started performing in my school at age 9, cheer leading at age 10 and at age 11 I was doing choreography as well. I loved cheerleading rehearsals, making my own pompoms, singing cheer like there is no tomorrow. I looked forward to Christmas parties because I get to perform with my friends in celebration of the most important event of the year. I was at my happiest when I practise for dance competitions and winning is just a bonus. When I got into Holy Angel University, my mum was really chuffed upon learning that I got into the top section, which also belongs to the 'Challenge Sections'. It really just meant our periodical exams were much harder than the rest and most often we have additional sections to answer: Essays and Enumerations for Challenge sections only. Considering the fact that I didn't qualify to take the DepEd scholarship test because our annual household income was too high for the bracket, 'Empathy' was the top section for Freshers at that time and my mum was over-the-moon when I told her that I was classmates with our elementary Valedictorian.
I didn't care about any of those though. I was more concerned about the extra curricular activities that was available and which ones I would like to try out for. There were several dance clubs and I did not have an idea which one I wanted to join so I did not rush into the first day of registration. I remember this girl called Emily who was sat next to me on Religious Studies who told me about TAP (Terpsichorean Angelian Performer) after I mentioned to her my dilemma of which dance troop to join. She said that TAP was the official dance club of the university and that I should try out for it, but warned me that they are very strict. So I gave it a go and out of some 90-odd auditionees, only 11 got through the next stage and I was ecstatic to be one of them! I don't remember telling my mum about it though, I think it's because after 4 years of not getting an encouraging approval from her whenever I join dance contests and cheer leading competitions I soon learned that she wasn't really interested. I didn't tell her when I got chosen to perform during the Quiz Bee to do an intermission number with me being the only Freshman. I didn't tell her that dancing with the Seniors was a big deal . But I did tell her when I got an A+ on a Biology report and when I got chosen to join the International Writing Contest (which I won) because those are the things that pleased her.
But in spite of all this, I was never bitter because she wasn't telling me to stop doing what I liked doing - until Sophie years. I remember when she found out that school year that I went down four sections, she wasn't very happy. In fact she was really disappointed and started telling me to focus on my studies instead of spending 12 hours in the gym practising cheerleading routine. I remember a few times when she got really cross at me for coming home at 10 in the evening from school and when I told her we had cheerleading practice because the competition is in two days, she did not believe me. Instead she and my dad thought I was elsewhere doing things I shouldn't ie smoking, drinking, drugs. I don't remember if I said something smart like 'if you bother watching me perform, perhaps you wouldn't think such bad stuff about me'. I probably didn't but I most probably thought it.
That's when it got messy, I ran away from home, came back after a few months and then I got sent to my black sheep brother as a punishment. He lived in a shack with communal toilet, he did not have a job and neither did his wife and they had two children at the time. They now have 5 and neither still have a job.
On Gwen Bailey's book she mentions that punishment won't do the puppy any good, and neither would the owner benefit from it. I am lucky to have a strong personality that is not easily tainted and not easily influenced. Living with my brother and the way he chose to live his life made me realise what kind of person I did not want to be but I saw the punishment pointless because the life I was leading didn't go anywhere near that, instead it just gave my brother a chance to take money from my mum - she just encouraged him to free-ride once again.
That is like a golden rule in raising a well behaved puppy to grow into a well behaved dog: encourage the good behaviour rather than punish the bad ones. I realise this is not easy because it is so much easier to punish a bad behaviour and often it's almost like reflex. But I am finding myself gaining more patience and understanding, gradually if you like, but heading that direction nonetheless. Taz makes me happy and to be a better person for him is the least I could do to ensure his own happiness, too. Isn't that what love is, no matter the source? It should make you want to be a better person.
I am not comparing the way my mum chose to raise me and the way I am raising my puppy as I recognise the big difference. I realise that there is more at stake in raising a child than raising a puppy. But the intention is the same: to bring up the best in you in someone else. My mum had other children apart from me and both my sister and brother were in university at the time I chose to rebel and I have another brother who has completely lost his way and just refused to take the right path. We all have given up on him. How can one help someone who refuses to help himself? To top it all off, she was dealing with a husband who decided he was going to be a drunk and spend hundred of thousands in hospital bills.
Only when I got older did I realise all these things. My mother could not have done anything better than her best, that is all we could do isn't it? Our best.
If you look at it from one angle you would say she could have done better. But she lived a hexagonal life - each side represented her family and her career and the only fair way to judge her is by looking at all those sides.
Already Taz is a reflection of ME. But what's funny is that he reflects the person I truly am - without my inhibitions. When it's just Taz and me in the house I am at my most confident, at my happiest. He is sometimes stubborn and have his own ideas on how things should be done and when they should be done and I am working on those negative traits. I need to be the dominant one or he is going to boss me around and that is no fun for when he is a full grown dog he will be heavier and stronger than me.
He is very friendly with the neighbours, he likes to play and have fun but he likes to have time alone now and again. He loves attention and is a very happy puppy. He is very affectionate and is a joy to be around. He is also very intelligent but that is kudos to his breed not me.
Maybe Gwen Bailey is right about the puppies but I don't know about parent-children bit. I am not a reflection of my mum, let alone my dad.
My mum is very quiet and shy. I am NOT.
She likes being on her own I guess because her chosen career demands a lot of quiet time alone. I get pretty depress when I don't get enough socialisation.
My mum likes staying in. I love going clubbing or bar hopping and dancing the night away. My mum doesn't dance and she doesn't sing.
I like karaoke and I used to sing in school. I even joined a singing contest when I was 6.
I am very frank and sometimes tactless. My mum is quite the diplomat.
She tends to care about what other people think. I just couldn't be bothered.
She makes delicious food but is not really too keen on experimenting in the kitchen. I have a long list of stuff I want to try in the kitchen, making homemade fondant is on top of it at the moment.
I am quite adventurous and curious and neither traits has been evident in my mum unless she just never had the chance to show it.
I talk a lot while my mum is quite timid.
I'm an absolute animal lover and my mum is not too keen on them.
My mum leans more toward conservative and what can I say I am very liberal. And I don't mean US Politics.
I don't believe that children are reflections of their parents. Or maybe I am just an exception to the rule. Was I that rebellious that the core of my personality is nothing like the woman who raised me? After some thorough thinking I concluded that I am no exception to any rule. The woman who raised me is strong-willed. But she was also brave in a silent way which somewhat became her downfall. I turned into a strong-willed daughter just like her, strong-willed enough to be my own person. Strong-willed enough to stray a bit away from the tree but brave, in an outspoken way, to not make the same mistakes as she did and to live a life more fun-filled and adventurous than that of which she did not have the chance to live being a mother at a young age.
Yes, we are all reflections of our parents. Some will try to deny it, some will resist and some will easily surrender to the idea. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. If we work with what we have and view the negativities with optimism, we will get to appreciate ourselves more; whether we turned ourselves into something our parents were not because we didn't like what they were or decided they are so brilliant that we want to be exactly like them, it all comes down to one thing: in one way or another, our parents influences and moulds the person we have become.
This made me ponder on whether I am a good enough person to raise such an intelligent and loving creature like Taz. The book said ask yourself questions about what kind of person you are and whether you want your dog to reflect those traits. So what kind of person am I? I'd like to think I am nice, in fact I am really nice to people. I am normally tolerant but I have this invisible line which draws the limit to how much I am willing to tolerate. I know I should back off as soon as a person gets very close to crossing the line but I don't. Instead I let them cross it and when they do I shut off and automatically switch to ignore mode which comes handy. This is my favourite in-built 'Vivien' feature simply because it lets me be myself at all times as I am able to ignore people's opinion of me and how I do things soon after they crossed the line that I have drawn. I know I have said this many times in previous entries but there is only one way to live life and that is 'living it the way it makes you happy'. As long as I am not stepping on other people's dignity and I am not hurting them on purpose then I'll live my life the way I think I should live it. I remember when I was a teenager I told my mother to let me make mistakes and if I am wrong, she is free to tell me 'I told you so'. Perhaps it was just part of my rebellious phase but I just wanted to make my own mistakes as much as I wanted to prove my mother wrong. I don't know if she remembers it but I do. I have a very vivid image of it in my head.
puppies tend to directly reflect their owner's characters as they mature possibly because they share the same emotional experiences. Any children in the family tend to be reflections of their parents, too. If you were punished a lot as a child and over-controlled, consider what effects this will have on the puppy you are about to raise. If you were brought up in a way that made you extrovert and outgoing how will this affect your puppy? Were your parents always shouting at you in a vain attempt to make you obey, or were they quietly in control?
When I was young my mother was never really behind the one thing I loved doing the most: dancing/cheerleading. I started performing in my school at age 9, cheer leading at age 10 and at age 11 I was doing choreography as well. I loved cheerleading rehearsals, making my own pompoms, singing cheer like there is no tomorrow. I looked forward to Christmas parties because I get to perform with my friends in celebration of the most important event of the year. I was at my happiest when I practise for dance competitions and winning is just a bonus. When I got into Holy Angel University, my mum was really chuffed upon learning that I got into the top section, which also belongs to the 'Challenge Sections'. It really just meant our periodical exams were much harder than the rest and most often we have additional sections to answer: Essays and Enumerations for Challenge sections only. Considering the fact that I didn't qualify to take the DepEd scholarship test because our annual household income was too high for the bracket, 'Empathy' was the top section for Freshers at that time and my mum was over-the-moon when I told her that I was classmates with our elementary Valedictorian.
I didn't care about any of those though. I was more concerned about the extra curricular activities that was available and which ones I would like to try out for. There were several dance clubs and I did not have an idea which one I wanted to join so I did not rush into the first day of registration. I remember this girl called Emily who was sat next to me on Religious Studies who told me about TAP (Terpsichorean Angelian Performer) after I mentioned to her my dilemma of which dance troop to join. She said that TAP was the official dance club of the university and that I should try out for it, but warned me that they are very strict. So I gave it a go and out of some 90-odd auditionees, only 11 got through the next stage and I was ecstatic to be one of them! I don't remember telling my mum about it though, I think it's because after 4 years of not getting an encouraging approval from her whenever I join dance contests and cheer leading competitions I soon learned that she wasn't really interested. I didn't tell her when I got chosen to perform during the Quiz Bee to do an intermission number with me being the only Freshman. I didn't tell her that dancing with the Seniors was a big deal . But I did tell her when I got an A+ on a Biology report and when I got chosen to join the International Writing Contest (which I won) because those are the things that pleased her.
But in spite of all this, I was never bitter because she wasn't telling me to stop doing what I liked doing - until Sophie years. I remember when she found out that school year that I went down four sections, she wasn't very happy. In fact she was really disappointed and started telling me to focus on my studies instead of spending 12 hours in the gym practising cheerleading routine. I remember a few times when she got really cross at me for coming home at 10 in the evening from school and when I told her we had cheerleading practice because the competition is in two days, she did not believe me. Instead she and my dad thought I was elsewhere doing things I shouldn't ie smoking, drinking, drugs. I don't remember if I said something smart like 'if you bother watching me perform, perhaps you wouldn't think such bad stuff about me'. I probably didn't but I most probably thought it.
That's when it got messy, I ran away from home, came back after a few months and then I got sent to my black sheep brother as a punishment. He lived in a shack with communal toilet, he did not have a job and neither did his wife and they had two children at the time. They now have 5 and neither still have a job.
On Gwen Bailey's book she mentions that punishment won't do the puppy any good, and neither would the owner benefit from it. I am lucky to have a strong personality that is not easily tainted and not easily influenced. Living with my brother and the way he chose to live his life made me realise what kind of person I did not want to be but I saw the punishment pointless because the life I was leading didn't go anywhere near that, instead it just gave my brother a chance to take money from my mum - she just encouraged him to free-ride once again.
That is like a golden rule in raising a well behaved puppy to grow into a well behaved dog: encourage the good behaviour rather than punish the bad ones. I realise this is not easy because it is so much easier to punish a bad behaviour and often it's almost like reflex. But I am finding myself gaining more patience and understanding, gradually if you like, but heading that direction nonetheless. Taz makes me happy and to be a better person for him is the least I could do to ensure his own happiness, too. Isn't that what love is, no matter the source? It should make you want to be a better person.
I am not comparing the way my mum chose to raise me and the way I am raising my puppy as I recognise the big difference. I realise that there is more at stake in raising a child than raising a puppy. But the intention is the same: to bring up the best in you in someone else. My mum had other children apart from me and both my sister and brother were in university at the time I chose to rebel and I have another brother who has completely lost his way and just refused to take the right path. We all have given up on him. How can one help someone who refuses to help himself? To top it all off, she was dealing with a husband who decided he was going to be a drunk and spend hundred of thousands in hospital bills.
Only when I got older did I realise all these things. My mother could not have done anything better than her best, that is all we could do isn't it? Our best.
If you look at it from one angle you would say she could have done better. But she lived a hexagonal life - each side represented her family and her career and the only fair way to judge her is by looking at all those sides.
Already Taz is a reflection of ME. But what's funny is that he reflects the person I truly am - without my inhibitions. When it's just Taz and me in the house I am at my most confident, at my happiest. He is sometimes stubborn and have his own ideas on how things should be done and when they should be done and I am working on those negative traits. I need to be the dominant one or he is going to boss me around and that is no fun for when he is a full grown dog he will be heavier and stronger than me.
He is very friendly with the neighbours, he likes to play and have fun but he likes to have time alone now and again. He loves attention and is a very happy puppy. He is very affectionate and is a joy to be around. He is also very intelligent but that is kudos to his breed not me.
Maybe Gwen Bailey is right about the puppies but I don't know about parent-children bit. I am not a reflection of my mum, let alone my dad.
My mum is very quiet and shy. I am NOT.
She likes being on her own I guess because her chosen career demands a lot of quiet time alone. I get pretty depress when I don't get enough socialisation.
My mum likes staying in. I love going clubbing or bar hopping and dancing the night away. My mum doesn't dance and she doesn't sing.
I like karaoke and I used to sing in school. I even joined a singing contest when I was 6.
I am very frank and sometimes tactless. My mum is quite the diplomat.
She tends to care about what other people think. I just couldn't be bothered.
She makes delicious food but is not really too keen on experimenting in the kitchen. I have a long list of stuff I want to try in the kitchen, making homemade fondant is on top of it at the moment.
I am quite adventurous and curious and neither traits has been evident in my mum unless she just never had the chance to show it.
I talk a lot while my mum is quite timid.
I'm an absolute animal lover and my mum is not too keen on them.
My mum leans more toward conservative and what can I say I am very liberal. And I don't mean US Politics.
I don't believe that children are reflections of their parents. Or maybe I am just an exception to the rule. Was I that rebellious that the core of my personality is nothing like the woman who raised me? After some thorough thinking I concluded that I am no exception to any rule. The woman who raised me is strong-willed. But she was also brave in a silent way which somewhat became her downfall. I turned into a strong-willed daughter just like her, strong-willed enough to be my own person. Strong-willed enough to stray a bit away from the tree but brave, in an outspoken way, to not make the same mistakes as she did and to live a life more fun-filled and adventurous than that of which she did not have the chance to live being a mother at a young age.
Yes, we are all reflections of our parents. Some will try to deny it, some will resist and some will easily surrender to the idea. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. If we work with what we have and view the negativities with optimism, we will get to appreciate ourselves more; whether we turned ourselves into something our parents were not because we didn't like what they were or decided they are so brilliant that we want to be exactly like them, it all comes down to one thing: in one way or another, our parents influences and moulds the person we have become.
25 June 2010
24 June 2010
A New Home, A New Chapter
Taz at 8 weeks on the day after we brought him home with us.
Meet Taz! Our 9 week-old Golden Retriever. We took him home 10 days after we moved to our new home. He loves our garden :)CLICK HERE for more photos.
I am so blessed and every day I thank God for never getting tired of answering my prayers. A week shy of a year ago, my husband and I moved to our first place together. I liked it there. It was an excellent 'starter' condo-style flat. But James and I have always known, from the time we moved there that it is all temporary. Ten months later we started looking at houses that is still close to town centre but with a spare bedroom and a garden. We viewed a few but settled for the one we live in now. It has a very large strip of garden, a spacious front yard, a much larger kitchen and best of all it is not an open-plan house like our previous home. You can see the Crooked Spire from the second bedroom and to top it all off, it's a magnificent spot to watch the sunset. We still have a lot of decorating to do but first things first! We had to get our little baby home from Matlock. Marley & Me, anyone?
FINDING TAZ
Finding the right breed of dog was very important for me. I want to be fair to the dog, I always remember this line from one of the many Dog Training books that I've read: Your dog didn't choose you, YOU chose your dog.
When I was a young girl I dreamt of having a Saint Bernard after watching Bethoven. Then my sister bought a big poster of dog breeds when I was 11 and I wanted to have every single one of them. But it was the movie Homeward Bound that touched my heart so much so that I promised myself that some day I will have a Golden Retriever and he will be just as clever and kind as Shadow, and will even have Chance's sense of humour. After 15 years that moment is here and that dream has come true.
It wasn't easy to find a Golden Retriever puppy. We looked on UK Kennel Club accredited websites and found several reputable breeders. James made a dozen phone calls and email inquiries only to be told that all the litter has already been reserved, even those that weren't even born yet! I never knew Goldens sold like hotcakes!
I was about to give up on finding a pedigree Golden and was ready to consider getting a Labrador, which is James' first choice or a Border Collie.
So when we saw an advert about a Lab x Golden I told James that I don't mind if it's a cross. So he rang the number and spoke with Mr Slater who turned out to be a really well-off farmer (in terms of assets, the land he owns is massive!) and above it all, he was a really humble and hospitable chap. He even took us home straight to Chesterfield twice which I thought was really thoughtful. He's a very genuine person and his family were nice too. I loved being in his farm even though I brought home with me a million midge bites, which have not completely healed up to now. But to me, it was well worth it. The first time we went to the farm was only to have a look at the puppies. As it turned out he had two litter - one of pedigree Golden Retrievers and Border Collie cross, roughly the same age. We had a look at both but we fell in love with the Golden Retrievers! So we paid a deposit for Taz, and Mr Stephen Slater sprayed his bum with orange sheep spray which is still slghtly visible to up now. We went back twice more, second time to visit Taz and make sure he is OK and I got to milk cows and feed the calves! I got to hold some newborn British Blue kittens and got to play with 12 Golden Retriever puppies, 10 BC x GR cross pups and played with 6 adult Goldens. It was an absolutely wicked experience for me.
Finding the right breed of dog was very important for me. I want to be fair to the dog, I always remember this line from one of the many Dog Training books that I've read: Your dog didn't choose you, YOU chose your dog.
When I was a young girl I dreamt of having a Saint Bernard after watching Bethoven. Then my sister bought a big poster of dog breeds when I was 11 and I wanted to have every single one of them. But it was the movie Homeward Bound that touched my heart so much so that I promised myself that some day I will have a Golden Retriever and he will be just as clever and kind as Shadow, and will even have Chance's sense of humour. After 15 years that moment is here and that dream has come true.
It wasn't easy to find a Golden Retriever puppy. We looked on UK Kennel Club accredited websites and found several reputable breeders. James made a dozen phone calls and email inquiries only to be told that all the litter has already been reserved, even those that weren't even born yet! I never knew Goldens sold like hotcakes!
I was about to give up on finding a pedigree Golden and was ready to consider getting a Labrador, which is James' first choice or a Border Collie.
So when we saw an advert about a Lab x Golden I told James that I don't mind if it's a cross. So he rang the number and spoke with Mr Slater who turned out to be a really well-off farmer (in terms of assets, the land he owns is massive!) and above it all, he was a really humble and hospitable chap. He even took us home straight to Chesterfield twice which I thought was really thoughtful. He's a very genuine person and his family were nice too. I loved being in his farm even though I brought home with me a million midge bites, which have not completely healed up to now. But to me, it was well worth it. The first time we went to the farm was only to have a look at the puppies. As it turned out he had two litter - one of pedigree Golden Retrievers and Border Collie cross, roughly the same age. We had a look at both but we fell in love with the Golden Retrievers! So we paid a deposit for Taz, and Mr Stephen Slater sprayed his bum with orange sheep spray which is still slghtly visible to up now. We went back twice more, second time to visit Taz and make sure he is OK and I got to milk cows and feed the calves! I got to hold some newborn British Blue kittens and got to play with 12 Golden Retriever puppies, 10 BC x GR cross pups and played with 6 adult Goldens. It was an absolutely wicked experience for me.
MY MATLOCK FARM EXPERIENCE
I love Facebook. It allows me to do a lot of things - share photos with my family and friends, let them know what's inside my head and my heart. I also love reading people's thoughts through their status - some warms my heart, some makes me smile, some makes me laugh and some makes me wish I had not bothered reading.
Another thing I love about Facebook is that it allows me to connect with my friends' friends. Some people may have overlooked this, but it actually lets you know your friends a little bit more through their friends. Overtime I have been getting friend requests from my friend Kaye's friends. I have ignored them all - repeatedly. Some people just don't get it.
Recently though, I had a wicked idea. I will accept some of them if I get any more to see if I will learn something about my friend through them. Who knows, we might actually become friends, too.
I accepted a couple and it wasn't long before I deleted one and moved one to my 'Unknown List' who sees nothing of my profile. I will tell you why I didn't delete both later.
I rarely go online on FB chat simply because I am not there to chat. But one time I made myself visible on FB chat, one of Kaye's mate messaged me and kept typing away even though I have not said anything back. The things he said mainly were compliments but I find it really RUDE when people, especially those who you're not really close with. IMs you and not bother (at the very least) saying 'hello'. And that same person commented on a photo a couple of days later saying: "hay naku, don't you feeed your asawa". My impulsive reaction was to write: "don't you ever stop eating?" but I restrained myself and hit the 'delete' button instead and move him to my 'Unknown' group. I will decide later whether to post something on his wall.
The other friend request I got and accepted was from a girl who also spoke to me on FB chat and asked me if Kaye lived near me. I was confused to start with but I said that Kaye is not in the UK yet (at the time) and has never been as far as I know. Obviously Kaye has been telling the same lies she told me, Sarah and Karen. A year before she actually got her visa to the UK she had told us that she had been to England before which is a load of bollocks as she wouldn't have been having the problems she had if she had acquired a visa to enter the UK before. In an older post, I think I have written about Kaye's mum blurting out to Sarah, Karen and I that she is having problems with her visa because she is not married. We, of course, being ever so polite, downplayed it as we have all been told by Kaye that she had been married for a year at that point in time. You wouldn't believe the latest lie she told is being with her husband for 8 years this June! Karen and I didn't know how to react to that as we both know thta 8 years ago, we were still working in Clarkton and Kaye had a boyfriend who never bothered to pick her up from work even on a Christmas Eve. And Karen has been married for 8 years so it was a no-brainer spotting that lie. I have no idea how someone can lie on their status knowing one's friends know the truth. If you live your life telling so many lies how can you ever be happy? I don't know, I'm just glad that it's not me in her shoes. Anyway, I decided to delete that girl because she tagged me in so many of her photos and she was just plain nuisance.
Just because I am friends with Kaye who worked in dancing bars including Mirrors Club in Clarkton (she was transfered to the dancing bar when they closed the Karaoke Bar just abit after I got sacked there for taking on a dare... don't ask, I was 17 and still a bit rebellious LOL), doesn't mean I am anything like her. Nor does it mean that I will look down on her just because she did. Of course that is probably what she thinks hence she makes up stories about her.
She had been a little better now since coming to the UK. She is slowly coming to her senses and perhaps seeing where she really stand in life. I hope the time will come when she will realise that it is better to be grateful for the things that she is blessed with rather than wanting to cover the flaws with lies. I know that one day she will grow to realise that when all the excitement of learning a lot of new things all at once pass, she will be a really good person because she has shown me, some nine years ago, that she could be a really good friend. And I have just realised myself that she hasn't really changed, she is just going through a phase and I will stick around until she is over that phase. That is what grown up friends do, after all. I don't care what she did for a living because through it she was able to help her family and build a better life for herself and her son. I suppose every one of us, to a certain point, make ourselves believe of things that we wish happened and for a minute we tend to live in that lie. Somehow it makes us stronger again when we face reality and that is not such a bad thing as long as you're not hurting other people in the process.
And finally, my verdict on her friends? well that is the last of them I will add. They treat me like they treat Kaye especially that idiot called Jason Fawcus who is so ignorant he probably thinks all of Kaye's friends are or were prostitutes too. But the bottom line is, Kaye isn't a prostitute anymore so she shouldn't be friends with people who treat her like dirt. I guess she is always eager to please people and again, there is nothing wrong with that but I think she should be treated better or at least her friends, should be treated with respect. And I have decided to delete him instead of giving him the satisfaction of giving him even just a second of my time. I have but one last thing to say. Who is worse off, the girls who are just trying to earn a little bit more money for their families or the punters who travel thousands of miles just to pay for those girls to have sex with them? It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.
Another thing I love about Facebook is that it allows me to connect with my friends' friends. Some people may have overlooked this, but it actually lets you know your friends a little bit more through their friends. Overtime I have been getting friend requests from my friend Kaye's friends. I have ignored them all - repeatedly. Some people just don't get it.
Recently though, I had a wicked idea. I will accept some of them if I get any more to see if I will learn something about my friend through them. Who knows, we might actually become friends, too.
I accepted a couple and it wasn't long before I deleted one and moved one to my 'Unknown List' who sees nothing of my profile. I will tell you why I didn't delete both later.
I rarely go online on FB chat simply because I am not there to chat. But one time I made myself visible on FB chat, one of Kaye's mate messaged me and kept typing away even though I have not said anything back. The things he said mainly were compliments but I find it really RUDE when people, especially those who you're not really close with. IMs you and not bother (at the very least) saying 'hello'. And that same person commented on a photo a couple of days later saying: "hay naku, don't you feeed your asawa". My impulsive reaction was to write: "don't you ever stop eating?" but I restrained myself and hit the 'delete' button instead and move him to my 'Unknown' group. I will decide later whether to post something on his wall.
The other friend request I got and accepted was from a girl who also spoke to me on FB chat and asked me if Kaye lived near me. I was confused to start with but I said that Kaye is not in the UK yet (at the time) and has never been as far as I know. Obviously Kaye has been telling the same lies she told me, Sarah and Karen. A year before she actually got her visa to the UK she had told us that she had been to England before which is a load of bollocks as she wouldn't have been having the problems she had if she had acquired a visa to enter the UK before. In an older post, I think I have written about Kaye's mum blurting out to Sarah, Karen and I that she is having problems with her visa because she is not married. We, of course, being ever so polite, downplayed it as we have all been told by Kaye that she had been married for a year at that point in time. You wouldn't believe the latest lie she told is being with her husband for 8 years this June! Karen and I didn't know how to react to that as we both know thta 8 years ago, we were still working in Clarkton and Kaye had a boyfriend who never bothered to pick her up from work even on a Christmas Eve. And Karen has been married for 8 years so it was a no-brainer spotting that lie. I have no idea how someone can lie on their status knowing one's friends know the truth. If you live your life telling so many lies how can you ever be happy? I don't know, I'm just glad that it's not me in her shoes. Anyway, I decided to delete that girl because she tagged me in so many of her photos and she was just plain nuisance.
Just because I am friends with Kaye who worked in dancing bars including Mirrors Club in Clarkton (she was transfered to the dancing bar when they closed the Karaoke Bar just abit after I got sacked there for taking on a dare... don't ask, I was 17 and still a bit rebellious LOL), doesn't mean I am anything like her. Nor does it mean that I will look down on her just because she did. Of course that is probably what she thinks hence she makes up stories about her.
She had been a little better now since coming to the UK. She is slowly coming to her senses and perhaps seeing where she really stand in life. I hope the time will come when she will realise that it is better to be grateful for the things that she is blessed with rather than wanting to cover the flaws with lies. I know that one day she will grow to realise that when all the excitement of learning a lot of new things all at once pass, she will be a really good person because she has shown me, some nine years ago, that she could be a really good friend. And I have just realised myself that she hasn't really changed, she is just going through a phase and I will stick around until she is over that phase. That is what grown up friends do, after all. I don't care what she did for a living because through it she was able to help her family and build a better life for herself and her son. I suppose every one of us, to a certain point, make ourselves believe of things that we wish happened and for a minute we tend to live in that lie. Somehow it makes us stronger again when we face reality and that is not such a bad thing as long as you're not hurting other people in the process.
And finally, my verdict on her friends? well that is the last of them I will add. They treat me like they treat Kaye especially that idiot called Jason Fawcus who is so ignorant he probably thinks all of Kaye's friends are or were prostitutes too. But the bottom line is, Kaye isn't a prostitute anymore so she shouldn't be friends with people who treat her like dirt. I guess she is always eager to please people and again, there is nothing wrong with that but I think she should be treated better or at least her friends, should be treated with respect. And I have decided to delete him instead of giving him the satisfaction of giving him even just a second of my time. I have but one last thing to say. Who is worse off, the girls who are just trying to earn a little bit more money for their families or the punters who travel thousands of miles just to pay for those girls to have sex with them? It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.
21 March 2010
Charade
Look at me I'm twenty five
I'm on top of the mountain
I'm touching the sky
I look out the window
and see people looking in
Wishing they had a life like mine.
But when the lights go off
and I'm alone in the dark
They don't see the smile fade
Nobody ever sees
Beyond the colourful parade.
I'm living the dream
that you read in fairytales
when you were a little girl
But you're not so little now
And you should know better
There's no such thing as perfect
but a perfect charade.
I'm on top of the mountain
I'm touching the sky
I look out the window
and see people looking in
Wishing they had a life like mine.
But when the lights go off
and I'm alone in the dark
They don't see the smile fade
Nobody ever sees
Beyond the colourful parade.
I'm living the dream
that you read in fairytales
when you were a little girl
But you're not so little now
And you should know better
There's no such thing as perfect
but a perfect charade.
-Viv 21.03.10
03 March 2010
Grats to moi!
I am absolutely chuffed today after finding out I have passed the Life in the UK Citizenship Test. Yesterday, I have crammed for six hours and did several practice online (non-official) tests and passed most of them. I was never one for thorough reading and even more thorough revisions aftwerward. I know cramming is not a healthy way to learn and get through exams but, what the hell, it has always worked for me and it has not failed me on this one, especially. It's a shame they don't give you the test paper for you to see which ones you got right or wrong. I'm almost certain I only got one question wrong, even though you can afford to have up to six wrong answers out of the 24 questions. I have almost forgotten how exciting it is to do revisions and the anxiety that comes with finding out the result of the test... I am absolutely ecstatic!
_________________________________________________
UPDATES: My driving instructor extended his holiday in Australia so I'm afraid I won't have my next lessons until after the 8th! Big big bummer!!
_________________________________________________
UPDATES: My driving instructor extended his holiday in Australia so I'm afraid I won't have my next lessons until after the 8th! Big big bummer!!
The WoW Twit
Some idiot told me to act like an adult. Seriously. Does he mean like him?
Someone who drinks England dry whenever possible and when the pubs are closed, he plays WoW. I would rather be a child forever if that is the definition of being an adult.
18 January 2010
a Broken Home doesn't have to break you, too.
I always like to be fair and I always try to be, although sometimes unsuccessfully, I always make sure that I try.
I've been thinking all night that maybe it's just me. Maybe my sister has always been bothered by the fact that she grew up in broken home and she seems so very deeply affected by it and it's one of the baggage of the past that she carries around with her that has encumbered her through the years.
Perhaps it is just me because I did not grow up in a broken home. By the time I was old enough to remember anything significant, I had a father figure in my English stepfather. He wasn't as good as he could have been but he was still there when I was growing up. I had a mother and a father who watched funny Aussie sitcoms after tea. I knew he wasn't my biological father but I never cared about my biological one ever since I was a child. Maybe because there was never a void in me that needed filling.
So this morning I asked my brother how much it affected him being in a broken home when he was growing up. We have nine years between us so by the time my mum married my stepdad, both he and my sister were away living in boarding houses in Manila and later on they went to Univ so they were rarely home with us.
He told me "I'd still prefer it broken than messy, pag broken kasi, you know where you stand
pag messy, you have this (possibly false) hope na baka mag improvethat's what I think on the matter"
So yes, from what I gathered, it affected him a little bit but he never dwelt on it. Only a stupid person would think she'd meet the father in heaven who abandoned her, took back the only toy he'd ever given her to sell it and never even tried to get in touch with her simply because he has a dozen other daughters that he probably did the same thing to. I hope my sister doesn't get her wish to meet her this same father in heaven. I hope my sister and our biological father never meet because then I'd know she never made it to heaven.
_______________________________________________
This is an article written by my godmother's daughter, my kinakapatid, and I enjoyed reading it. It's refreshing to have someone who did not grow up with her biological father think differently from most.
Two houses, one home
By Ma. Cesar C. Del Rosario
CLICK HERE TO GO TO SOURCE: Philippine Star
I've been thinking all night that maybe it's just me. Maybe my sister has always been bothered by the fact that she grew up in broken home and she seems so very deeply affected by it and it's one of the baggage of the past that she carries around with her that has encumbered her through the years.
Perhaps it is just me because I did not grow up in a broken home. By the time I was old enough to remember anything significant, I had a father figure in my English stepfather. He wasn't as good as he could have been but he was still there when I was growing up. I had a mother and a father who watched funny Aussie sitcoms after tea. I knew he wasn't my biological father but I never cared about my biological one ever since I was a child. Maybe because there was never a void in me that needed filling.
So this morning I asked my brother how much it affected him being in a broken home when he was growing up. We have nine years between us so by the time my mum married my stepdad, both he and my sister were away living in boarding houses in Manila and later on they went to Univ so they were rarely home with us.
He told me "I'd still prefer it broken than messy, pag broken kasi, you know where you stand
pag messy, you have this (possibly false) hope na baka mag improvethat's what I think on the matter"
So yes, from what I gathered, it affected him a little bit but he never dwelt on it. Only a stupid person would think she'd meet the father in heaven who abandoned her, took back the only toy he'd ever given her to sell it and never even tried to get in touch with her simply because he has a dozen other daughters that he probably did the same thing to. I hope my sister doesn't get her wish to meet her this same father in heaven. I hope my sister and our biological father never meet because then I'd know she never made it to heaven.
_______________________________________________
This is an article written by my godmother's daughter, my kinakapatid, and I enjoyed reading it. It's refreshing to have someone who did not grow up with her biological father think differently from most.
Two houses, one home
By Ma. Cesar C. Del Rosario
bro·ken \’br_-ken\ adj 4a: cut off: DISCONNECTED b: imperfectly spoken or written <~English> 5a: not complete or full 6: disunited by divorce, separation, or desertion of one parent— broken·ly adv —bro·ken·ness n
MANILA, Philippines - Webster and his legion of lexicographers might try very hard to define what it means to be broken; or to come from, or to have, or to belong to, a broken home but it is only through experience that one can truly realize the meaning of coming from, having and belonging to a home that has been brokenAs for me, I experienced it at an early age, way before I can spell the said word. My parents got separated when I was still a two-month-old. I remember vaguely that my mother, when I turned five, explained to me that they have parted their ways and that, I might not be seeing my father for a long, long time.I got fully acquainted with the word when I was in grade school. I remember my teachers always asking me where my father was or why I put “N/A” on his occupation, address, date of birth, etc. It was like putting spoonfuls of salt to an open wound. I have this recollection that it was during this developmental stage when I learned that I was defying what seemed to be the norm because I was a child of a broken home.And then I encountered this red book from Adarna House when I was still a Family Life and Child Development major in UP Diliman, entitled Papa’s House, Mama’s House by Jean Lee C. Patindol. It was a daring book in a sense that it tackles separation, and as though it isn’t daring enough, it is intended to be read by, or for, children. It starts with the lines: “Ana, Bianca, and I live in two houses. There is Papa’s House. And there is Mama’s house.” Right then, I was hooked. I wanted to see how this author would explain this very sensitive topic. I wonder how this author would tell my story, and the story of countless, innumerable children who became part of the painfully increasing statistics of coming from, having, and belonging to broken homes. How do you tell a child in the simplest form that his or her parents are going to be separated — meaning, they would not wake up together, pray together, eat together, go to parent-teacher conferences together, attend recitals and field demonstrations and whatever school programs together, cry over skinned knees or over a beloved pet’s death together, celebrate graduation and college admissions together, share triumphs and defeats together, and live life to the fullest together?
Well, none of these was tackled (for those were my own longings) but I still stand in awe how the author was able to conceive, prepare and deliver the most sensible explanation of why two people, known to you as your Papa and Mama, are separating without using the words “irreconcilable differences.” And here goes:
“Papa, why can’t you and Mama live with us in one home?”
Papa said, “Do you think trains and planes can travel together?”
And I said, “Umm…I guess not. Trains go by land and planes fly in air.”
Papa patted my head and smiled.
The next day I asked Mama.
“Mama, why can’t you and Papa live with us in one home?”
Mama took out my paint set and said,
“Let’s mix white and yellow together. What color do you get?”
Yuck! We got the color of Bianca’s poo-poo!
Next we mixed black and green together.
Even yuckier! We got the color of Ana’s poo-poo!
And so I said,”So some colors aren’t pretty together, huh, Mama?”
Mama hugged me tightly.
In the context of the child’s world, it was explained appropriately. Who would think that through trains and planes, yellows and whites and blacks and greens, the most crucial message that can make or break a child’s heart can be properly delivered? We always assume that some topics are not for children and underestimate their way of processing and understanding things. We neglect the fact that although at certain age they cannot yet grasp abstract concepts (yes, Piaget’s theory attests to that), they are individuals who can feel love and who can get hurt.
Most people wondered why I did not end up a drug addict, a teenage mom, or a school dropout — in short, an unsuccessful and pathetic individual expected of a child from a broken home. And I say, it was the way my mother brought me up without ingraining contempt for my father and respecting my right to know about our situation and explaining to me early on what we are dealing without the sugarcoat and then providing me all the opportunities for growth, understanding all my shortcomings and loving me unconditionally.
It is in the way we use words, the way we define concepts, the way we explain things with children that significantly affect their outlook in life. It is our responsibility to get them through this process of being broken and being healed for, in the first place, it was not their responsibility that they were brought into this complicated world. It was a situation that confronted not only the rich and the poor, not only the whites and the blacks, but all people in general.
Liane Peña-Alampay, a developmental psychologist, has this to say about the book: “It sends the message that children in ‘two homes’ are not different, nor are they loved and nurtured any less by their parents than children in two-parent homes. Papa’s House, Mama’s House opens the way for greater tolerance, understanding and empathy in children and adults alike.”
The Chatroulette XP
James and I just spent ten minutes on chatroulette.com to check it out after hearing about it on Magic Radio's Good Morning Show. We covered our webcam because you can't use the website properly if you don't allow the site to have access to your cam and mic. We had a bloody good laugh at it! I will write more about it tomorrow, as well as my trip to the Optician today, as it's bedtime for me now! xXx
17 January 2010
The little sister you will never be
I feel sorry for people who are so bitter about their lives and so ungrateful about the blessings bestowed upon them that they just can't let go of the past. They carry the baggage with them through their journey and end up looking so unhappy that no matter how they try to hide it from people, they ming of bitterness and unhappiness wherever they go.
And how can some people stomach being 'plastik' and pretend they want to know how you are doing? I guess it's not being plastik when all they really want to hear is that you are doing bad which gives them a chance to feel better about their sod life. It's pathetic how someone who brags about a degree in Mass Communication derives self-fulfillment through knowing she is doing better than her sister who did not even finish High School.
But unfortunately for her, that sister is doing absolutely wicked! My husband doesn't drink nor smoke and he definitely doesn't hit her because she's got balls equal to that of her hubby's. Yes, that's right, that little sister who's done more for the family and who LIVED her life and continue to do so in the way she wants to and not the way the society dictates how she should live it. But enough of that; everybody knows that little sister lived a better and happier life and still be able to help out the family in every aspect in spite being 7 years younger. Oh and that little sister got slagged off to the ground after she saved her big sister from getting kicked out of the apartment they lived many times and prevented her living without water or electricity. Yes, she was always there to save her proud sister's arse. She thinks she got to where she is now on her own. Well she has very very few sources of happiness so we'll just let her think that way. She can act really dumb whilst her family look at her thinking 'what happened to this girl?'. She now wonders about the father who abandoned her when she was a little child. Seriously! I wouldn't even wonder about ANY person who didn't give one fuck about me. Ah well, her mind had been well poisoned and had gone completely tits up because of the bitterness she carries with her. The RIGHTEST thing I've done in my life is to NEVER compare myself to anyone... But then again, I didn't have an ace younger sister! Hahaha.
Pretending to be interested out of concern on how I am doing here is a load of bull. I'll bet she just needs money so desperately and she can count on it that when she said she lost a sister, she wasn't kidding herself.
I'm happy that my mother got to spend Christmas eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day with my brother and his family. Oh and yeah, I don't know what I was thinking when I suggested to my mum to invite my sister over too. Fortunately my brother didn't want them there so he said he's not going if my sister is there. He says we can't have her to think she can get away without apologising properly. There will come a day when she will realise that no matter how many diplomas she manage to achieve in her lifetime, she will never find real happiness until she learns to accept that not her mother, not her brother and not her little sister or even the father who never cared for her is to blame for how her life had turned out. We didn't get her knocked up when she was 20, did we?
The world does not owe you anything. Life is short. Grow Balls like your little sister. Seriously.
And how can some people stomach being 'plastik' and pretend they want to know how you are doing? I guess it's not being plastik when all they really want to hear is that you are doing bad which gives them a chance to feel better about their sod life. It's pathetic how someone who brags about a degree in Mass Communication derives self-fulfillment through knowing she is doing better than her sister who did not even finish High School.
But unfortunately for her, that sister is doing absolutely wicked! My husband doesn't drink nor smoke and he definitely doesn't hit her because she's got balls equal to that of her hubby's. Yes, that's right, that little sister who's done more for the family and who LIVED her life and continue to do so in the way she wants to and not the way the society dictates how she should live it. But enough of that; everybody knows that little sister lived a better and happier life and still be able to help out the family in every aspect in spite being 7 years younger. Oh and that little sister got slagged off to the ground after she saved her big sister from getting kicked out of the apartment they lived many times and prevented her living without water or electricity. Yes, she was always there to save her proud sister's arse. She thinks she got to where she is now on her own. Well she has very very few sources of happiness so we'll just let her think that way. She can act really dumb whilst her family look at her thinking 'what happened to this girl?'. She now wonders about the father who abandoned her when she was a little child. Seriously! I wouldn't even wonder about ANY person who didn't give one fuck about me. Ah well, her mind had been well poisoned and had gone completely tits up because of the bitterness she carries with her. The RIGHTEST thing I've done in my life is to NEVER compare myself to anyone... But then again, I didn't have an ace younger sister! Hahaha.
Pretending to be interested out of concern on how I am doing here is a load of bull. I'll bet she just needs money so desperately and she can count on it that when she said she lost a sister, she wasn't kidding herself.
I'm happy that my mother got to spend Christmas eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day with my brother and his family. Oh and yeah, I don't know what I was thinking when I suggested to my mum to invite my sister over too. Fortunately my brother didn't want them there so he said he's not going if my sister is there. He says we can't have her to think she can get away without apologising properly. There will come a day when she will realise that no matter how many diplomas she manage to achieve in her lifetime, she will never find real happiness until she learns to accept that not her mother, not her brother and not her little sister or even the father who never cared for her is to blame for how her life had turned out. We didn't get her knocked up when she was 20, did we?
The world does not owe you anything. Life is short. Grow Balls like your little sister. Seriously.
Look into my EYES!
I'm over my emo thoughts last night. Sometimes watching Grey's make me a bit emotional. I feel sorry for Lexi, I would hate to have to compete against a daughter - a pregnant one at that!
It's a shame because I think Lexi brings out the best in McSteamy. If you find a person who can do that for you without even trying, then it's a definite keeper!
I had a nice and busier-than-normal day today. I had an appointment with my optician at lunch time for some contact lense assessment after last Tuesday's eye test and being given new prescription. Yep, I can see even less without my specs. I was gonna have the new lenses fit in my old Prada frame right there and then but I was told that they can't guarantee that my old frame will not snap and that they won't be held liable for that. That was bad news because neither James nor I didn't want to risk breaking my Prada frame; for one it wasn't cheap and secondly it's only a year and 7 months old. So we went to Scrivens where we got them and perhaps they could guarantee to replace the frame if it snaps upon replacing the lenses. But unfortunately, they couldn't either and to make it worse they charge £80 more for new lenses. Ridiculous!
So we went back to SS and had a look at some reasonably priced frames after deciding I would rather keep my Prada specs and just use my new ones when I'm driving or generally going out. Hey they're my first pair, I can't have them snap into pieces and be completely useless! I'm sentimental like that.
I saw some nice frames actually including a really sexy cateye-shaped frame with purple edges but somehow the prospect of wearing contact lenses was brought up. So I thought "ye, why not give it a go as I've tried fashion ones before". Apparently fashion contact lenses can really damage your eyes, that is according to the optician I met with yesterday.
She had THE best Irish accent ever! Although she said she doesn't sound as she used to because she had lived in England for 12 years. You know when you meet people for the first time and you think there is nothing not to like about this person and you just feel comfortable around that person? That is how I felt with her. I didn't catch her name which is a shame. But I will see her again sometime this week when my contacts have arrived, she said she shall give me a ring. I was really disappointed to find out that I have to wait a few more days to get my contact lenses but chuffed nonetheless to have met this very nice Irish-British optician.
I love people like her. She gives out such positive vibes and you can tell she is genuinely interested in people and her job is not a chore to her. Whether or not it is true I shall never know but that is the aura that she has around her which is really refreshing and encouraging. When I came out of the examination room, James was looking puzzled and he says "what were you two laughing about in there?" I honestly didn't think the people at the waiting area could hear us with the door closed.
She popped an unexpected question after examining my eyes, though. She asked me if both my parents are from the Philippines. I said my biological parents both are, yes. I thought she was going to ask me what everyone has asked me before since coming here a year and eight months ago: howcome I speak 'excellent' English with no thick/strong Asian accent? But surprisingly she had something different to say. She said that she could have presumed that one of my parents is not Asian because the shape of my eyes are rare. I'm guessing she meant the shape of my eyeballs as she said this after examining my eyes, and popping out to get an eye instrument to measure my eyes to make sure that they are just different but still normal. The eye doctor told me that all Asian eyes she's examined are flat. I can't really imagine what a 'flat eye' looks like... I just have to take her word for it when she says my eyes are quite rare in shape. After all she has 15 years of experience to back her up. Yeah, in a matter of 20 minutes we talked a lot about random stuff, including how patients and friends of hers who have the same Contraceptive Implant I have have gained up to 4st in weight since getting the implant. That is some horrific information for me LOL
As we were leaving Spec Savers, James said I found a new bestfriend.
It's a shame because I think Lexi brings out the best in McSteamy. If you find a person who can do that for you without even trying, then it's a definite keeper!
I had a nice and busier-than-normal day today. I had an appointment with my optician at lunch time for some contact lense assessment after last Tuesday's eye test and being given new prescription. Yep, I can see even less without my specs. I was gonna have the new lenses fit in my old Prada frame right there and then but I was told that they can't guarantee that my old frame will not snap and that they won't be held liable for that. That was bad news because neither James nor I didn't want to risk breaking my Prada frame; for one it wasn't cheap and secondly it's only a year and 7 months old. So we went to Scrivens where we got them and perhaps they could guarantee to replace the frame if it snaps upon replacing the lenses. But unfortunately, they couldn't either and to make it worse they charge £80 more for new lenses. Ridiculous!
So we went back to SS and had a look at some reasonably priced frames after deciding I would rather keep my Prada specs and just use my new ones when I'm driving or generally going out. Hey they're my first pair, I can't have them snap into pieces and be completely useless! I'm sentimental like that.
I saw some nice frames actually including a really sexy cateye-shaped frame with purple edges but somehow the prospect of wearing contact lenses was brought up. So I thought "ye, why not give it a go as I've tried fashion ones before". Apparently fashion contact lenses can really damage your eyes, that is according to the optician I met with yesterday.
She had THE best Irish accent ever! Although she said she doesn't sound as she used to because she had lived in England for 12 years. You know when you meet people for the first time and you think there is nothing not to like about this person and you just feel comfortable around that person? That is how I felt with her. I didn't catch her name which is a shame. But I will see her again sometime this week when my contacts have arrived, she said she shall give me a ring. I was really disappointed to find out that I have to wait a few more days to get my contact lenses but chuffed nonetheless to have met this very nice Irish-British optician.
I love people like her. She gives out such positive vibes and you can tell she is genuinely interested in people and her job is not a chore to her. Whether or not it is true I shall never know but that is the aura that she has around her which is really refreshing and encouraging. When I came out of the examination room, James was looking puzzled and he says "what were you two laughing about in there?" I honestly didn't think the people at the waiting area could hear us with the door closed.
She popped an unexpected question after examining my eyes, though. She asked me if both my parents are from the Philippines. I said my biological parents both are, yes. I thought she was going to ask me what everyone has asked me before since coming here a year and eight months ago: howcome I speak 'excellent' English with no thick/strong Asian accent? But surprisingly she had something different to say. She said that she could have presumed that one of my parents is not Asian because the shape of my eyes are rare. I'm guessing she meant the shape of my eyeballs as she said this after examining my eyes, and popping out to get an eye instrument to measure my eyes to make sure that they are just different but still normal. The eye doctor told me that all Asian eyes she's examined are flat. I can't really imagine what a 'flat eye' looks like... I just have to take her word for it when she says my eyes are quite rare in shape. After all she has 15 years of experience to back her up. Yeah, in a matter of 20 minutes we talked a lot about random stuff, including how patients and friends of hers who have the same Contraceptive Implant I have have gained up to 4st in weight since getting the implant. That is some horrific information for me LOL
As we were leaving Spec Savers, James said I found a new bestfriend.
emo thoughts @ midnight
If someone wrote me an email apologising, explaining or clearing some misunderstanding between us, I would not leave that person forever wondering if I am annoyed when I am not. It is rather inconsiderate to leave someone hanging like that when you can easily take two minutes and hit that reply button and say "it's OK". If I email a supposed friend an explanation for my previous actions I expect an answer. I know you probably think what a demanding little cow I am but I guess for this specific instance I am writing about, I know my friend is completely over the misunderstanding and has read my email but chose to ignore it. I have no time for these people and the like. It's funny - when I'm just about to change my mind and apologise for thinking someone is a twit, they turn around and prove how much of one they well and truly are.
15 January 2010
Strangers Remember Me Better
James has started playing WOW again since Sunday and I've used up my free 7-day game time. He's raiding with my brother and 8 others from Haunted Heavens in ICC-10 at the moment and I think they are on 4th boss. He offered to make me a cup of coffee whilst they were on a 5-minute break so I had a nose around in WoW and Ventrilo and said hello to his raid mates. As expected, when guys hear a girl's voice on TS or Vent, they get curious.
"Who's that?" asked their raid leader.
"It's Foxy, Vivien's just making us a cuppa".
"Ah, I know you! The hunter with an awesome DPS"
"Aww thanks, but I'm crap now. I stopped playing"
"But I remember you in Ulduar"
"Yeah we had some fun in there. Vivien's here now, good luck guys!"
"Thanks, we bloody need it"
And everyone who had a mic said bye cheerfully.
Talk about uplifting the army's spirit that is thinly wearing out after a series of wipes :-)
It made me smile tonight. It's nice to know that I left a good reputation in Azeroth.... now to do that IRL... ^_^
___________________________
James is not wearing the headset so I keep hearing "Vivien" on vent... I keep looking at his direction thinking someone wants me! Not tonight, Viv...
"Who's that?" asked their raid leader.
"It's Foxy, Vivien's just making us a cuppa".
"Ah, I know you! The hunter with an awesome DPS"
"Aww thanks, but I'm crap now. I stopped playing"
"But I remember you in Ulduar"
"Yeah we had some fun in there. Vivien's here now, good luck guys!"
"Thanks, we bloody need it"
And everyone who had a mic said bye cheerfully.
Talk about uplifting the army's spirit that is thinly wearing out after a series of wipes :-)
It made me smile tonight. It's nice to know that I left a good reputation in Azeroth.... now to do that IRL... ^_^
___________________________
James is not wearing the headset so I keep hearing "Vivien" on vent... I keep looking at his direction thinking someone wants me! Not tonight, Viv...
11 January 2010
Bribery in Marriage
James came home last night with a big box of my favourite chocolates. It’s really comforting to know that even after being married for 4 years, he has not lost his sweetness that I adore about him to
In just a little over two weeks from now, james and i will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary and if I have learned anything very important during those years, it is the realisation that FRIENDSHIP is more important than marriage because a strong friendship makes a resilient couple and therefore a lasting marriage. When I’m old and grey, fat and ugly I would not be as attractive or interesting anymore, but I can rely on the fact that our friendship will keep us together and in-love. When all the adventure have come to pass and the excitement of the life we’ve made there won’t be much for us to do or to look forward to. Yes, getting and being old is a scary thought for me. But when love, sex and beer get all too young for us, James and I will be OK. And that is what strong friendship in marriage ensures every couple when you’re both too old and just about had enough of life – COMPANIONSHIP.
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